Stuck
by
William Bivins
(FINAL DRAFT for Shotz, 11/25/12)
William Bivins
wbivins@sbcglobal.net
415-310-6744
STUCK
by William Bivins
An elevator.
DOUGLAS, a man in his 30s, gets on the elevator. He
pushes his floor button.
FRANCINE, a woman in her 30’s, rushes to catch the
elevator.
FRANCINE
Hold the elevator!
(Douglas puts his arm out to stop the doors from closing.)
FRANCINE (cont’d)
Thanks.
(seeing it’s Douglas)
Oh, hey.
DOUGLAS
Hey.
FRANCINE
Goin’ my way?
DOUGLAS
Twentieth Floor or bust!
(They share a forced laugh. Awkward pause as they look
up at the floor numbers.)
DOUGLAS (cont’d)
Francine?
FRANCINE
(hopefully)
Yes?
DOUGLAS
Never mind.
FRANCINE
No no, tell me.
DOUGLAS
It’s nothing. Really.
(Pause.)
FRANCINE
You know, Douglas, I can’t help notice you’ve been going by my cubicle a lot lately.
DOUGLAS
(flustered)
Have I? I don’t really–… I mean, you’re on the way to the copy room and I guess I’ve
been doing a lot of, you know… copying.
FRANCINE
I just want you to know, if there’s anything you want to ask me… anything at all….
(No response. They continue to look up at the numbers.)
FRANCINE (cont’d)
(pointing)
Hey, is that a spider?
DOUGLAS
(looking)
Where?
(Francine suddenly pulls the Emergency Stop Button. The
elevator stops.)
DOUGLAS (cont’d)
What the–
FRANCINE
Oh, my God! We’re stuck between floors!
DOUGLAS
There’s no need to panic.
FRANCINE
What if there is? What if it’s a serious problem?
2.
DOUGLAS
I’m sure it’s not. I’ll just call maintenance.
(Takes out his cell phone.)
No service. Goddamn AT&T. Maybe there’s an intercom on the panel.
(She moves between him and the panel.)
FRANCINE
I have claustrophobia. I need you to hold me.
DOUGLAS
Okay, but first I want to see if there’s a–
FRANCINE
If you don’t hold me right now I might have a grand mal seizure and start frothing at the
mouth!
(He holds her.)
We could die here, Douglas. Do you realize that? Is there something you want to say to me
before we die?
DOUGLAS
We’re not going to die, Francine. I’m sure it’s a simple mechanical thing. We might be
stuck for a while, but they’ll fix it. It will all work out in the end. You’ll see…. Now, if you
don’t mind, I’d like to take a look–
FRANCINE
Wait a minute! I have Verizon. Let’s see if–…
(She takes out her cell phone.)
Three bars!
(She “dials.”)
Hello, maintenance? We’re stuck in the elevator between–… What’s that you say?… Oh,
my God!
DOUGLAS
What?
FRANCINE
Oh, no!… Oh, Jesus!… Oh, dear God!
DOUGLAS
WHAT?!
3.
FRANCINE
There’s a fire in the engine room. The cables are giving way!
DOUGLAS
Giving way?!
FRANCINE
Fraying. From the fire.
DOUGLAS
I don’t smell smoke. Here, let me talk to them.
FRANCINE
Damnit! Phone just died. Oh, Douglas, I’m scared. Hold me again!
DOUGLAS
Tell me exactly what he said!
FRANCINE
He said to say our prayers.
(She bounces the elevator.)
Did you feel that?
DOUGLAS
What the HELL?!
FRANCINE
One of the cables must have snapped.
DOUGLAS
Jesus Christ! This isn’t happening!
FRANCINE
Listen to me. We have very little time. You need to open up to me.
DOUGLAS
Open up?
FRANCINE
Ever since the holiday party you’ve been walking by my cubicle. Slowly. Hovering
sometimes. Like there’s something you want to say.
DOUGLAS
This hardly seems the time–
4.
FRANCINE
This is exactly the time! Let your feelings out before it’s too late! Don’t take them to the
grave with you!
DOUGLAS
Francine. I think I’m in love–
FRANCINE
I knew it! Oh, Douglas–
DOUGLAS
…with Cindy.
FRANCINE
(after pause)
Cindy?
DOUGLAS
I never knew how she felt about–… and I’ve always been too shy to–… but then we had a
moment at the holiday party, and I thought maybe–… You’re her closest friend, Francine.
I’ve been building up the nerve to ask you if she’s said anything–
FRANCINE
She finds you repulsive.
DOUGLAS
Maybe you misunderstood–
FRANCINE
I believe that’s the exact word she used.
DOUGLAS
Jesus.
FRANCINE
There are other fish in the sea, you know. Some swimming very nearby.
DOUGLAS
Cindy isn’t a just any fish! She has an encyclopedic knowledge of cat breeds. We hate all
the same music and share a passion for storage space…. I can’t believe she said I was
repulsive.
FRANCINE
Yeah, what a bitch. I think you should have revenge sex.
5.
DOUGLAS
What’s with this goddamned elevator? If you’re gonna crash, go ahead and crash! Put me
out of my misery!
(looking at panel)
What’s this? The Emergency Stop button is pulled out.
(He presses it and the elevator starts up again.)
FRANCINE
Wonder how that happened.
DOUGLAS
(pointed)
Yeah, Francine. I wonder.
FRANCINE
Whatever, dude. I’m sick of guys like you anyway. Shy and sensitive, my ass. More like
socially retarded. Anyway, you’re right: you and Cindy are made for each other. Couple of
losers. I hope the two of you get together, have boring, mechanical sex and spawn a bunch
of autistic spectrum kids!
(The elevator door opens.)
FRANCINE (cont’d)
(like a curse)
Have a merry Christmas!
(She gets out of the elevator, exits. He gets out of the
elevator.)
DOUGLAS
(calling out)
Wait! Does that mean Cindy doesn’t find me repulsive?
END OF PLAY