Tailor-Made
__________________________
A short play
By Justin Yorio
Contact:
Justin Yorio
440 Bergen Street, 3R
Brooklyn, NY 11217
646.299.2140
justinyorio@gmail.com
TAILOR-MADE
A haberdashery on Fifth Avenue. Two distinct
playing spaces. DR, the entrance. UL, the back
room, where the lights come up on FRANK,
who is standing on a pedestal, being fitted for a
suit by ALFONSE.
ALFONSE
You can have this by Friday, no problem.
FRANK
I can’t believe I only own one suit.
ALFONSE
You’re a nurse, Frank, how many suits do you need?
FRANK
I’m an art therapist, Alfonse.
ALFONSE
I can’t believe you lost so much weight you need the suit you own taken in. You’re eating,
right?
FRANK
Alfonse–
ALFONSE
You gotta eat, Frank. You work nonstop, and when you’re not working you’re taking care
of Amy. How is she, Frank?
FRANK
She’s getting there. She’s got the concert on Saturday, which is nice. Before last month,
she hadn’t looked at her violin since Susan died.
ALFONSE
She misses her mom.
FRANK
She does. It’s only two years in January.
The bells on the front door ring. STEPHANIE
enters, and waits at the counter
ALFONSE
Why don’t you let Mary and me bring a lasagna over for you two? I don’t want no
arguments. You gotta stay healthy, Frank. It’s important. For Amy, too.
STEPHANIE
(toward the back room)
Alfonse!
ALFONSE
Coming! So it’s settled. We’ll be by next week. I’ll be right back.
Alfonse exits and meets Stephanie at the counter.
STEPHANIE
Alfonse, my love!
ALFONSE
(heartily)
Stephanie! Merry Christmas!!
STEPHANIE
I’m Jewish, Alfonse.
ALFONSE
(just as heartily)
Happy Chanukkah!!
STEPHANIE
And Merry Christmas to you!
ALFONSE
How’s the window dressing going?
STEPHANIE
Visual merchandising, Alfonse. You wouldn’t want me calling your mother an Indian
would you?
ALFONSE
My mother’s Italian.
STEPHANIE
Exactly.
2.
ALFONSE
How’s the barber?
STEPHANIE
The hairstylist? We’ve parted ways.
She presents him with a holiday card.
For you.
ALFONSE
Stephanie, you do this every year! It’s too much.
STEPHANIE
It’s the least I can do for the man who puts the pants on our snowmen.
ALFONSE
Oh- What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
STEPHANIE
Do you smell carrots.
ALFONSE
You heard that before?
STEPHANIE
No.
ALFONSE
Then how–?
STEPHANIE
Well, snowmen smell with their noses, which are made of carrots… yes, Alfonse, I’ve
heard it before.
Beat.
ALFONSE
I’m gonna go grab your stuff. I’ll be right back.
Alfonse exits, through the back room. Pats Frank
on the back.
I’m gonna take care of this order, Frank, it’ll just be a minute.
He stops. Thinks for a second. Then:
3.
Stephanie, it’ll take me a second to get everything together, why don’t you come back here
to wait?!
He exits. Frank stands on the pedestal. Stephanie
enters the back room. Sees Frank.
STEPHANIE
David.
FRANK
Excuse me?
STEPHANIE
Michaelangelo’s David. The way you’re standing on the pedestal.
FRANK
You think?
STEPHANIE
Is this a hobby of yours? Impersonating the classics?
FRANK
It’s surprisingly handy in social situations.
STEPHANIE
Do you take requests?
FRANK
Within reason.
STEPHANIE
How about The Thinker?
Frank strikes the pose.
Nice. Venus De Milo?
Frank does his best armless pose. Stephanie
laughs. So does Frank.
That was… that was impressive. What brings you to Alfonse’s establishment?
FRANK
My girl’s concert.
4.
STEPHANIE
Your girl?
FRANK
My daughter, Amy. She’s thirteen.
STEPHANIE
Oh.
Beat. Had she missed the ring? She looks.
FRANK
Her mom passed away, so I now represent one-hundred percent of her cheering section.
STEPHANIE
I’m sorry. That must be difficult.
FRANK
Thanks. Yeah, it is, but we’re doing okay, I mean, she’s a tough one–
Alfonse re-enters with two big bags.
ALFONSE
I am sorry… that that … took so long. Here you are, Stephanie. Stephanie is the window–
the, uh… she does the windows at Saks.
FRANK
You do visual merchandising?
STEPHANIE
Yes. Yes I do.
ALFONSE
Frank’s a nur– well, he does drawings with the kids who–
STEPHANIE
You’re an art therapist?
FRANK
Yes I am. I am, though I’d like to be doing some freelance design work as well.
ALFONSE
He’s talented.
FRANK
I’m okay.
5.
STEPHANIE
Frank, the man’s taste is impeccable. If he says you’re talented it means you’re talented.
FRANK
Well, thank you, Alfonse.
ALFONSE
Anytime. Listen, Frank, I gotta do one more thing downstairs, but I’ll be back quick and
we’ll finish you up. Stephanie, a pleasure as usual.
Maybe they exchange a kiss. Alfonse exits. A
slight pause.
STEPHANIE
Unfortunately, I have to get back to work as well. The windows aren’t old enough to dress
themselves.
She goes to pick up the bags.
FRANK
Let me get those for you.
He walks Stephanie to the front door. There is
mistletoe. They may or may not notice this now,
they may or may not notice this later.
STEPHANIE
Thank you, Frank, you are a gentleman. I can take it from here.
FRANK
Are you sure? I could–
STEPHANIE
Does Amy like jokes?
FRANK
I guess so, sure.
STEPHANIE
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
FRANK
I don’t know, what?
6.
STEPHANIE
(sniffs)
Do you smell carrots?
FRANK
That’s good.
STEPHANIE
Use it wisely.
FRANK
I will.
(beat.)
Do you–? Would you–?
STEPHANIE
Enjoy your daughter’s concert, Frank.
FRANK
I will.
STEPHANIE
It was lovely to meet you. Here’s my card. If you want to get together, to talk about design
work, or anything, give me a call. When you’re ready. Happy Holidays.
She leaves. Alfonse, having watched most of the
scene from the other room, smiles. The bells on
the door ring.
End of Play.

Advertisement