Directed by Aeron Macintyre

Featuring: Leon Goertzen, Rinabeth Apostal and Anika Solveig

Love in the time of VHS

Page 1

This scene takes place in the office of a start up video dating service.

Regina, Karen & Ken are making videos of themselves to entice their

clients and make their business appear more established.



Diet coke

Shoulder pads

VHS recorder

VHS tapes in a pile

Regina: Hello my name is Blaine and I am looking for love. I am an aerobics

instructor and I love children and horses. What I want in a man-
Karen: Are you wearing shoulder pads? It doesn’t look like you’re wearing

shoulder pads.

Ken: Keep going – you’re on a roll.

Karen: I love children and horses. What I’m looking for in a man is someone-
Regina: Did you hear me? You need shoulder pads! Here take mine.

Ken: Come on Regina can we just knock this out.

Regina: It’s in the details man – the details.

Phone rings Regina rushes to it.

Regina: Lonely Hearts Video Dating, this is Vanessa how can I help you?

Yes, oh yes of course. Yes, all our video tapes are filmed in our studio.

We can visit your home for an extra charge. Excuse me, can you hold for

just a moment the phones are busy today.

Regina place the caller on hold, removes her shoulder pads & hands them to

Karen. Then opens a diet coke & takes a sip slowly moves to answer the phone.

Karen and Ken watch her.

Regina: So sorry about that Phil. It’s just a madhouse around here. I have so

many women wanting to get into the studio & shoot their videos

I wouldn’t be able to fit you in for 2 months. It’s a good thing you want

us to shoot this at your place. I can do Friday at 10. Yes? Great!

I’ll be there with a team. Thanks Phil. Yes, Yes – I will absolutely bring

Love in the time of VHS

Page 2

some tapes featuring our loveliest ladies with me.

Regina hangs up and does a little dance, Karen & Ken join in

Karen: Like, Oh My God. We did it! We got anther client . This is unbelievable.

Regina: Alright, let’s shoot your video we need to deliver it Friday to Phil.

Ken: Have a seat – you can start with “What I’m looking for in a man”

Karen: No, I start all over. ehhem

Hello my name is Blaine and I am looking for love. I am an aerobics

instructor and I love children and horses. What I am looking for in a man is

sensitivity, intelligence and charm. I am tired of sleeping single in a double


Ken: Excellent Karen – can you just slate for me real quick.

Karen: Blaine Tinsdale, Santa Monica

Ken: Terrific you nailed that last bit.

Karen: Thanks Ken, it means a lot to hear you say that.

Regina: Great work – now let’s switch it up Ken your on and I’ll take over the


Karen: Yeah – let’s work on Wayne. Ken you were getting close yesterday.

Ken: okay – I’m going to need a minute then. He’s not an easy character to just jump

right into.

Regina: Sure man, take all the time you need.

Phone rings Karen runs to answer it. Regina sets up the next shot and Ken gets into


Regina: Lonely Hearts Video Dating this is Kimberly, how can I help you?

Certainly, I am a certified love therapist. Yes, we do offer private coaching.

Sure I’d like to ask you a few simple questions before we set up our


Question number one – How do you like to be treated by a man?

Ah ha – “Like a Goddess!“ That’s wonderful.

Love in the time of VHS

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Question number two. What is your ideal date?

“An evening on the beach!”

Well Loraine – that is all the information I need from you to get started.

We’ll see you tomorrow at 10 for an early coaching session, then taping.

Oh, yes we will have a tape to show you and who knows maybe we’ll

have a match for you right away. See you.

Karen hangs up the phone and everyone does the same celebration dance from before

Karen: Okay Ken you’re on! We need a Wayne who is looking for a Goddess.

Ken does some sort of getting into character movemet

Ken: Ok here goes nothing……Ready?

Regina: Rollling

Karen: Action

Ken: Hello my name is Wayne and I am looking for a Goddess. Are you my

Goddess? Who is the Goddess? The Goddess is a woman, the woman is

all women. Are you my Goddess? I am a proud ten year subscriber to

Playboy and the New Yorker. I love to drink sea breezes in the sea breeze.

I’m not afraid to get sand on my tuxedo and I’m looking for someone who’s

not afraid to let the breeze mess up her hair.

Karen: That’s totally perfect.

Regina: No, you’ve got to can the Playboy subscriber bit – go another way.

What about your career? Something substantial. Where’s the beef?

Ken: I got it – I got it. Let’s take another pass. Shakes it our actor style

Regina: Rolling

Karen: Action.

Ken: Hello my name is Wayne and I am looking for a Goddess. Are you my

Goddess? Where is my Goddess? I am a very successful commercial real

estate agent with my own my business and a home in Santa Monica. I would

like to romance my Goddess on the beach. I am not afraid to get sand on my

tuxedo. Are you afraid to let the wind mess up our hair?

Love in the time of VHS

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Regina: Cut – I don’t think you should end with a question. It really puts them

on the spot.

Ken: It’s video dating Regina, there is no “ spot.”

Karen: Ken, I love the way you just ran with the Goddess.

Ken: Thanks Karen. I am very in touch with my feminine side. I can see the Goddess

in you – she is very strong and sensual.

Karen: Would you like to come over tonight and we can….

Regina: Hey alright – let’s get back to this. Ken we need something more. I see

Wayne as a guy who wants the Goddess but isn’t quite ready for her. You

know what I mean. Like a Goddess loving Bad Boy, who has a great job &

the ability to give Lorraine the life she is dreaming of.

Ken: Sure you want a Bad Boy – no problem. I’ve had my Bad Boy days.

Let’s do this!!!

Regina: Rolling.

Karen: Action

Ken: What’s happening hot stuff? My name is Wayne and I am looking for my

Goddess. I would like to give my Goddess everything I have. I would like

take long walks on the beach with you then go back to my place and drink

screaming orgasms and slippery nipples in my hot tub. Goddess what’s your

vice? You don’t have one? Well then let me help you find one.

Regina: CUT! Slow Clap while speaking….Jesus Ken –I think you took it a bit to far.

You totally dropped the successful businessman. You sounded like a total


Karen: I don’t know there was something very compelling about it. Especially

the vice part.

Regina: Focus people. We don’t want to sell Sexy Bohunks. We need substance.

This business will never take off if we can even get ourselves dates. Take 2

minutes and I’ll write it.

Love in the time of VHS

Page 5

Regina begins to write a new speech for Ken while Ken & Karen talk

Ken: Why don’t you finish what you were saying before the last take?

Karen: Oh, I was wondering if you would like to come over after work and

Maybe have a drink and watch some VH-1.

Ken: That would be nice. Do you like screaming orgasms?

Karen: Yes, but I live with my parents.

Regina: Okay, Okay I got it here give it a go.

Let’s focus people. Rolling!

Karen: Action

Ken: Hello my name is Ricardo and I am searching for my Goddess –

Phone Rings Karen answers it

Karen: Lonely Hearts Video Dating, this is Roxanne how can I help you?

Yes, we do have clients with unique tastes. We are happy to help

everyone find their soul mate. Soul mates? You mean twins?