Directed by Alison Whismore
Featuring Anika Solveig, Eden Neuendorf and Carlye Pollack
Characters:
ATLAS: Anika Solveng – Greek Titan – Female (Titans were totally pre-gender) – dressed in a toga – holding a beach ball patterned like the earth – suffering from serious shoulder pain.
DOCTOR: Eden Neuendorf – Modern doctor – female – Wearing a doctor’s coat and watch, with a stethoscope, a beeper on her belt, a clipboard and pen – a good, caring doctor.
ETTA JAMES: Carlye Pollack – legendary singer of the 1950s and 60s – dressed in sexy 50s garb with a scarf over head to cover lack of blondness if a blond wig is not available.
Setting:
Lights up on DOCTOR examining ATLAS with the stethoscope.
ATLAS’S legs dangle off her seat and she holds the beach ball absentmindedly between her bare ankles.
DOCTOR
(Holding the stethoscope to ATLAS’S chest) And again.
ATLAS takes a deep breath.
DOCTOR CON’T
And out.
ATLAS exhales.
DOCTOR moves stethoscope to ATLAS’S back under her toga.
DOCTOR CON’T
Cold hands, excuse me. And a nice deep breath back here.
ATLAS takes a huge breath
DOCTOR CON’T
Good. Now let it go.
ATLAS exhales.
DOCTOR steps back and writes something on her clip board.
ATLAS
How’d I do?
DOCTOR
(Looking at clipboard) Beautifully. Your vitals are perfect, reflexes are phenomenal, we can rule out arthritis. (Looks up from clipboard) If I were to make a preliminary guess I’d say it’s your rotator cuff. (Motions to floor) Would you resume the position please?
ATLAS Takes the beach ball from between her feet and stands, feet apart, with the ball held to her shoulder with one hand and the other arm straight out in a conqueror’s pose.
DOCTOR
(Walks behind ATLAS, indicating areas of her shoulder with the back of the pen)
Oh yeah, that’s going wreak havoc on this entire muscle group. And here under your clavicle, we’ll need an x-ray but I’d bet money it’s bursitis. What kind of time frame are we looking at here—you in this posture?
ATLAS
24/4
DOCTOR
What does that mean?
ATLAS
24 hours a day, 4 billion years.
DOCTOR
You can put that down now.
ATLAS
(Stands at ease with the beach ball at her side) Look doc, I’ll do whatever tests you want. Just promise me I’ll walk out of here with some Vicodin.
DOCTOR
Atlas, considering what you’re working with, it’d be cruel and unusual to let you leave with anything but a cortisone shot and two bottles of Percocet.
ATLAS
That is what I like to hear.
DOCTOR
Good. Now have a seat. We’ll narrow it down with a few more tests before I send you to the lab.
ATLAS
(Remains standing, looking troubled, debating whether to say something to DOCTOR)
Doc? I need to tell you something (beat) I’m not insured. It’s why I’ve waited so long to come in. I think by now it’s a (lowers voice) preexisting condition.
DOCTOR
Atlas, where have you been? Olympus Care: you’re covered.
ATLAS
What?
DOCTOR
All the gods get healthcare now. It even covers preexisting conditions, which wouldn’t be preexisting, I might add, if you’d come in a couple billion years ago, before your tendons looked like a five year-old trying to tie their shoes. (Motioning toward table). Please.
ATLAS
(Takes a seat on the block and returns beach ball to between ankles)
This is the best news I’ve had since the Ice Age ended.
DOCTOR
Good. Arms out at a 45 degree angle, thumbs down (Touches ATLAS’S elbows) pressure on the elbows. How’s that? Any pain?
ATLAS
A little bit.
DOCTOR
We’ll hold this for another few seconds. I meant to ask, I was expecting you to be male, your chart didn’t list a sex. Alright, arms down. (Removes hands)
ATLAS
(Massaging shoulder in dull but apparent pain) Doc, I’m a Titan, we’re totally pre-gender.
DOCTOR
Do you need a pap?
ATLAS
I’m alright.
DOCTOR
Okay then. Arm out to the side (Holds ATLAS’S arm out) Now slowly lower.
ATLAS
Oof. (Still lowering arm) So you’re not also a head doctor, are you?
DOCTOR
You mean a psychologist? You can relax your arm now.
ATLAS
DOCTOR
I did a rotation in the psyche ward in my residency. Why?
ATLAS
I’m having this issue. Not with the shoulder, it’s…emotional.
DOCTOR
Well I can’t show you a credential, but I’d be happy to listen if there’s time. One more test first. (goes behind ATLAS) Atlas, shrug.
ATLAS
(Shrugs—including shrugging face—quickly winces in pain) Motherfuck!
DOCTOR
Bursitis. We’ll confirm with an x-ray. (Walking toward door) You’ll be out of here in no time. (About to leave the room)
ATLAS
Doc, wait. We were going to talk.
DOCTOR
I’m sorry Atlas I have patients at two. (Looks at watch)
ATLAS
This is an…
DOCTOR
Why don’t you try the Muses.
ATLAS
Doc, I’m in love!
DOCTOR Looks at watch again,
…with a human.
DOCTOR presses buttons on her beeper
What are you doing?
DOCTOR
(Still pressing beeper buttons) I’m having the nurse tell Tantalus to hold on. (looks up) Alright.
ATLAS
It’s not like you think. This isn’t a Zeus situation, I know she loves me too. She calls my name every day from all over the world.
Enter ETTA JAMES under a spotlight, facing the audience, singing
ETTA JAMES
(Singing) At last! My love has come along!
ATLAS
(Talking while she sings) She’s been singing to me for decades.
ETTA JAMES
(singing) My lonely days are over, and life is like a song. Oh yeah.
ATLAS
She’s not perfect, I don’t know how smart she is. She’ll tell me things like…
ETTA JAMES
(Singing) At last, the skies above are blue.
ATLAS
When it’s obviously snowing where she is. But I don’t care. He voice is like starlight in the dark.
ETTA JAMES lowers volume of singing
DOCTOR
Well tell her how you feel.
ATLAS
How? My words are thunder on Earth. I’ll rain out a city with one sweet nothing.
DOCTOR
Hmmm. What if you went down there?
ATLAS
Doc, I can’t really, “drop the ball” (indicating the beach ball) so to speak. All I can do is dream of the day that I hold her in my arms and hear her say:
ETTA JAMES
(Speaking, to the audience in a sultry voice. ATLAS mouths her words) Come here you planet-sized sexpot.
ATLAS
(Facing forward, speaking to ETTA JAMES in fantasy) Really, baby!?
ETTA JAMES
Yeah no.
ATLAS
No yeah?
ETTA JAMES
No yeah.
ATLAS
Yeah no?
ETTA JAMES
(With sultry lust) No yeah!
DOCTOR
Well, what else do you know about her?
ATLAS
Just her name: Etta—Etta James.
DOCTOR
Whoa, wait a minute. Etta James, the singer?
ATLAS
What she does is so much more than singing.
DOCTOR
Atlas, Etta James died two years ago.
ETTA JAMES gasps and strikes a dramatic pose
ATLAS
No, that’s impossible. I hear her every day.
DOCTOR
They record music down there.
ATLAS stares dumbly
Like a really, really good echo.
ATLAS
Then…does that mean…?
ETTA JAMES
(Singing) So here we are in heaven…
ATLAS and ETTA JAMES lock eyes.
ATLAS approaches her.
ETTA JAMES
(Singing) For you are mine. (Whispering) Atlas.
ATLAS throws the beach ball into the audience, dips ETTA JAMES and kisses her!
END OF PLAY
Art and Music in Our Souls 