Directed by Blake Wiers

Featuring Jessica Risco, Sharmin Sehat and Nicole Slovinec
Three women: an internet geek (Kendra), a punk
(Raven) and a mom, complete with baby in car seat
(Milly) sit playing poker. A pile of slips of
paper in the center.
RAVEN:
Alright bitches, what’dya got?
MILLY:
Two pair, dueces and jacks
KENDRA:
A straight! Seven high.
RAVEN:
Shit! A pair of aces… you win again, K.
MILLY:
Are you counting?
KENDRA:
No… (pulling in her winnings) I have a mind for this
is all.
MILLY:
Alright… (begins to shuffle) the game is…
KENDRA AND RAVEN
Little Ones!
KENDRA:
Come on Milly, change it up!
MILLY:
But, I love this game!
RAVEN:
We know!
MILLY:
Fine! (she starts to deal) Kings and Little Ones!
RAVEN:
Jesus! (Milly glares at her)
KENDRA:
Don’t get her started.
(They get their cards and start to eye each other.)
KENDRA:
Okay… (she throws a slip of paper into the “pot”)
Pacific Heights.
RAVEN:
Hmmm… (throws in a slip) The Mission. (they glare at
her)… and the Tenderloin. (throws another slip)
MILLY:
Noe Valley! (another slip)
KENDRA:
I’ll take two. (she’s dealt two cards)
RAVEN:
Three. (she’s dealt three cards)
MILLY:
And the dealer takes one! (she takes one)
They study their cards
KENDRA:
SOMA. (she throws in a slip)
RAVEN:
When did you get SOMA?
KENDRA:
Right after they built all those overpriced artist
lofts.
RAVEN:
Oh, right… Dogpatch. (she throws in a slip)
MILLY:
You still have Dogpatch?
KENDRA:
Not for long.
MILLY:
I’ll call with Potrero Hill… I want the whole fucking
East side… lay ’em down.
KENDRA:
Straight, Jack high!
RAVEN AND MILLY:
Shit!!! (they throw their cards down)
Kendra get’s up and does a war dance.
KENDRA:
I am the overlord of the Potrero Patch, the CEO of
SOMA, the Sovereign of Noe, the leader of the Heights
and the Monarch of the Mission!
RAVEN:
Don’t forget the Tenderloin
KENDRA:
Oh, right… the Tyrant of the Tenderloin! Wooo! I need
a drink. Anyone?
RAVEN:
Give me a Foster’s
MILLY:
I’ll have a Cosmo. Light on the booze; I’m driving.
Kendra leaves for the drinks
MILLY:
Listen, we have to take her down.
RAVEN:
What?
MILLY:
Those techies are taking over the whole city. If we
stick together, we can stack the deck and at least
level the playing field. If we don’t, I’ll be out in
Concord and you’ll probably end up in Turlock!
RAVEN:
Hey!
MILLY:
What do you have to bid?
RAVEN:
Uh, Excelsior and the Haight
MILLY:
Right, and I have the Marina, Fillmore and the Castro.
Look, I have this deck that my oldest got at a magic
shop that can make us sure winners if we pool our
resources.
RAVEN:
You evil little baby mamma!
MILLY:
What do you say?
RAVEN:
I’m in! No way I’m letting those Google-Mac-Mega-Nerds
take over our city.
MILLY:
Deal!
(They shake hands. Milly pulls the deck out of her
diaper bag and replaces the other deck. Kendra
enters.)
KENDRA:
Listen, girls, I was thinking, why don’t we just get
this over with and make this last hand all or nothing.
Everything in the pot, winner takes all.
(Milly and Raven look at each other. A big smile
comes over their faces.)
RAVEN AND MILLY:
Okay!
(They all put all of their slips of paper into the
“pot”)
KENDRA:
Okay! The game is “Proxy Server”. Jacks or better to
open.
RAVEN:
What the fuck game is that?
KENDRA:
I just made it up!

(After the cards have been dealt,
each player passes their worst three cards to the
person on the left. There’s a round of betting then
everyone closes their eyes and hands one card…
There is a loud knock on the door.)
VOICE:
This is the police! We’ve had a report of an illegal
poker game! Open up!!!
(The women stare at each other for a moment, then
begin feverishly grabbing at the slips of paper.)
KENDRA, RAVEN AND MILLY:
Mine, Mine, Mine, Me, Me, Mine!
END

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