DET. IRIS BELTRAN is a detective

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE is also a detective

ALEX and JENNIFER met at a party, and went on a few dates a few weeks (or, a few years) back.

[The stage is divided into distinct playing areas, and the characters move between them seamlessly, often narrating or recounting something that’s being acted out in another area.  ALEX starts at his home.  JENNIFER is in her home.  DET. IRIS BELTRAN and DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE arrive at ALEX’s]

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

Mr. Samuels?

ALEX

Yes.  You can call me –

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

You called about the dates?

ALEX

Yes!  Oh, I’m glad you’re here, I –

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

That’s premature, don’t you think?

ALEX

Well, it’s –

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

I’ve heard that’s a thing with you.

ALEX  

What? //

DET. IRIS BELTRAN 

That’s right, we do our research  //

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

// Hello, Alex.  I’m Detective Coltrane and this is Detective Beltran. 

ALEX

Hello.

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

We’re here to help you determine [checks notebook] why Jennifer called things off after your third date.

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

Before we get started, I want to set your expectations.  We’re going to investigate what happened (and didn’t happen) with a level of thoroughness that in the abstract you may appreciate, but in reality may make you somewhat uncomfortable.  And, um… even if it turns out you’re right – even if you knew what she was thinking and feeling, and even if you get the chance to explain everything… how should I put this?

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

She’s not going on another date with you.  If she wanted to do that, she’s had ample opportunity in the last, what is it now, 57 days, but who’s counting?

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

What Detective Beltran means is that while we may bring you a measure of resolution, we almost never see people going out again.

ALEX

I understand.  [Reaches for a box, or set of papers.]  I’ve printed out our e-mails to help –

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

Not interested.  Tell me about the night you met.

[DETECTIVE COLTRANE has drifted to another scene, in JENNIFER’S apartment.]

JENNIFER

We were at a party.  He was by the, you know, the drinks, not really talking to anyone, just sipping from this red cup.  He was so cute, trying to figure out what to do with himself, so I figured I’d –

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“We wound up talking on and off for about an hour, and I was… she was great.  The next day I called to see if – ”

JENNIFER

And I thought, sure, why not?  I’d been away for so long, so I wasn’t sure where things stood with Greg, so –

ALEX

A few days later, we went to dinner

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“The whole night was, I felt so comfortable talking to her.”

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

[JENNIFER and ALEX are on the date.]   “We had a lot of fun– ”

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“I remember being charming.    

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“He made me laugh – ”

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

I’m not just rememb —.”

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“Yeah, there were some really sweet moments where—”

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“She was reacting to me, laughing, touching my leg.”

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

So you were enjoying yourself?

JENNIFER

Yes.  I don’t know what you’re looking for me to say.

DET. IRIS BELTRAN / DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

Was there a kiss?

ALEX

Yeah, after dinner we wandered down to this bench outside the park.

JENNIFER

And it was way too cold, but we didn’t care, we were so –

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“wrapped up in talking to each other.  I mean, yeah, there was some connection…”

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“And finally we couldn’t ignore the cold, so – ”

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“So I stood, and he stood right away, like he was drawn into orbit around me.”

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“We’d had a wonderful time, and I didn’t want to blow it.  I was – ”

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“And it all seemed so natural, so effortless for him.”

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“ – so nervous, but I thought, this is it, I have to kiss her right now.”

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“I drew my breath when he stood up, and he put his hand right, not quite on my back, right where my hip – ”

JENNIFER

[Looking at ALEX]  And I felt a shot through me. 

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“He was holding my waist, and as he leaned in towards me I –

[JENNIFER gets frustrated, as her anticipation isn’t met with anything just yet.]

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“We kissed”  [No one kisses]

DET. IRIS BELTRAN (continued)

You kissed?

ALEX

Yeah, we kissed!

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

What does that mean, you kissed?

ALEX

Well //

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“I don’t know.  [JENNIFER and ALEX do this]  Kissed.  You know, like, kissed.  We put our mouths next to each other and, like, moved them around.”  You moved them around?

ALEX

You’re making it sound weird.

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

[to DET. IRIS BELTRAN]  I’m sure it wasn’t weird.   

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“Well, we, I mean our lips were… puckered, like, (mwah), like a kiss.”

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“Yeah, it was a very nice kiss.  I mean, it was–

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“— a few kisses.  I felt her body get warm through her shirt.  She must’ve been feeling something —

JENNIFER

It transported me.  When he touched me, we were //

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“At one point she pulled her head back and looked at me like –”

JENNIFER

/breathing together, frosted breath just

ALEX

like I was the sexiest.  It was so cold but her hip

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“This might sound strange, but I saw in us in bed”

ALEX

was so warm

JENNIFER

with my back arched and my

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“The look she gave me, the kiss, the sharp exhale – ”

JENNIFER

entire body pointed towards the sky

ALEX

She must’ve—

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“She shut her eyes and inhaled and – ”

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“like every angle and curve of my body formed my own skyline.”

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“I don’t know what she was feeling but it seemed like she was – ”

JENNIFER

I felt like the most beautiful person in…

[pause.  JENNIFER and ALEX draw breath.]

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

[to LISA] And then what happened?

ALEX

[to DET. IRIS BELTRAN]  I walked her to the train.

JENNIFER

I was glowing all the way home.  But I started to think about –

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

Did you meet up again?

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

Yeah, we went out a few more times – two more times. 

ALEX

We went to a movie, but she had to be up early the next day because she was heading out of town, so –

JENNIFER

We were mostly exchanging emails for a while.  And I did love getting emails from him.

ALEX

But we were writing each other just about every day, sending songs, books we’d talked about, and –

JENNIFER

By the time I got back to town, when I was catching up at work and trying to get together with people, I realized –

IRIS

“So you met her for lunch”

ALEX

Yeah, I thought it was gonna be another date, but –

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“I told him it didn’t feel quite right, that I couldn’t, that he was looking for something I couldn’t give him.  I was trying to tell him that I was having fun, but I just didn’t have enough room in my life for him.  But I didn’t know how to say it.  So I said:”

JENNIFER

“I don’t have a mechanism to absorb new people right now.” 

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“And when I said that, he was sort of crushed.  But he also, like, he also loved the phrase.  ‘I don’t have a mechanism to absorb new people.’

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“It’s so alien and robotic, but it makes… there’s a clarity to it.”

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“He was upset, but laughing about it, joking around”

ALEX

[robot voice?]  “I don’t have a mechanism to absorb new people right now.”

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“And just like everything else about him, I found his reaction really sweet.”

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

“So we laughed about it for a while”

JENNIFER

but that’s as far as it went. 

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“And eventually it got awkward”

ALEX

So… [15 seconds of silence.  Note that the silence happens in the ALEX/JENNIFER scene; DET. IRIS BELTRAN and DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE don’t have to wait for it.  JENNIFER and DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE are back in JENNIFER’s apartment.]

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“That’s just how I felt.  Greg had come to town the weekend before, and I realized — ”

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

[to ALEX] I understand.  Anything else you’d like to add?  Because I think I see where this is going.

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

“He’s a great guy, and I wish we could’ve been friends.”

ALEX

No, nothing else, I just still think that –

JENNIFER

I mean, sure, it could’ve worked, but… it didn’t …

[DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE and DET. IRIS BELTRAN converge on ALEX.  JENNIFER is somewhere else, years later.]

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

You’ve told us about kissing this young lady on a park bench, after lingering way too long in the cold.

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

The way she looked at you. 

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

And her reaction to your hand on her hip.  And some really sweet emails.

DET. VIVAN COLTRANE

And you remember it, right?  You remember the moment your lips touched? 

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

A new smell.  A new taste.

DET. VIVAN COLTRANE

And all of your fears, still somewhere under that coat, but overcome for just that moment.

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

Her breath in the cold, how warm it felt, you remember that?

ALEX

Yeah –

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

And how she drew her breath just before you kissed?

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

And how you drew yours when she first talked to you, at that party?

ALEX

Yes, I remember, but it’s not –

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

It is.

DET, IRIS BELTRAN

It’s what you have.  Don’t throw it away while you’re chasing something else.

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

We’re not going to tell you to fold up shop.  But we are going to tell you that no matter how badly things are going, draw your breath when you find something special. 

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

And whatever you find, however you can, carry it with you.

ALEX

I understand.

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

We can’t give you anything you don’t already have.

DET. IRIS BELTRAN

And if you can dream us up, you can dream of far better things for yourself.

ALEX

Thank you.

DET. VIVIAN COLTRANE

Thank you.

[ALEX stumbles off.  Runs into JENNIFER, who’s wearing a ring.]

JENNIFER

Oh hey!

ALEX

Hey, how are you?

JENNIFER

Good, I’m… things are great.  It’s been so long.

ALEX

Couple years, yeah.  It’s nice to see you.

JENNIFER

I was just thinking about you, I, uh… was on a park bench, shivering, and…

ALEX

Yeah.

JENNIFER

You know I had such a great time that night…

[THEY continue talking as lights fade to BLACKOUT]

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