Directed by Aeron Macintyre
Featuring Allison Hunter Blackwell, Joelle Wagner & Jessica Risco
Characters:
LUCY
MAISIE
FELICITY
LUCY and MAISIE enter. LUCY is pulling a blindfolded MAISIE through the door of LUCY’s apartment. FELICITY is already in the apartment wearing a gaudy party hat, holding streamers or other party items.
MAISIE
Now? Take it off now?
LUCY
Not yet, wait.
MAISIE
I’m starving, you said we were going to go eat. I covered for you at work, you had a
surprise/
LUCY
/I know. Just a little bit longer.
FELICITY
SURPRISE!
LUCY
Oh my god not YET, not YET. And where/
MAISIE
/What is it? (struggles to get the blindfold off, LUCY stops her)
LUCY
It’s nothing, wait a minute.
(aside to FELICITY)
Where is everyone? This isn’t funny if it’s just you and me!
FELICITY
I tried, nobody would come. Work thinks we’re being jerks. So she dropped that tray, it wasn’t a big deal.
LUCY
Yeah except the bride was royally pissed off, Jeddy had to give them a discount, no tips for anyone. The guys at the store, you told them there was beer, right?
FELICITY
It’s not funny. She’s not all that/
MAISIE has pulled off the blindfold.
MAISIE
What’s the party? And what was up with that blindfold? Nasty.
LUCY
We planned a party. For you/
FELICITY
/Totally for you, we invited everyone/
LUCY
/Everyone. I’m sure they’ll all be here. Soon. Very soon. Sarah, Jeddy, everybody/
MAISIE
/A work party? Wow. I thought you’d still be mad. A party. Wow.
LUCY
(aside to FELICITY) Now I feel shitty.
FELICITY
(aside to LUCY) It was your idea to be a jerk.
FELICITY
(BEAT)
We were/
LUCY
/Don’t you da/
FELICITY
It was just a joke, to cheer you up, after, you know, dropping all those glasses, we thought you might be upset, and Lucy thought, you know, we’d think you’d look hot with a blindfold on, and we’d hang out and drink beer and then/
LUCY
/I was…not…Felicity, stop saying that, it was a party, Jeddy, Sam, Loretta, the guys at the store/
FELICITY
(Aside to LUCY) /I didn’t actually ask anyone.
MAISIE
Now I want a party!
LUCY
(BEAT)
(Aside to FELICITY) Felicity, you did, you didn’t, what are you talking about?
FELICITY
(Aside to LUCY) Maisie’s feelings would have been hurt, if we asked a bunch of random
people. And Jeddy, Sarah, and all them, they don’t really know her, it could have gotten
way out of hand.
LUCY
But this is where skill and opportunity meet. We buy the beer, everybody gets a little drunk
and has a big laugh on Maisie. Teach her a lesson. Drop the fucking tray, she should know
better.
MAISIE
There’s beer, right?
LUCY
(BEAT) Uh, I think so.
FELICITY
Of course there’s beer. And I made snacks.
MAISIE
Just for me? That’s awesome.
FELICITY
A surprise party, OK, a fake surprise party, what better reason to buy beer. And make great
snacks.
LUCY
You two are getting awfully cozy.
MAISIE
She made snacks. I love snacks.
LUCY
Aren’t you mad? Why aren’t you mad?
MAISIE
I’m telling you, I love snacks, I like beer, you gave me a surprise party because I won the lottery/
LUCY
What!
FELICITY
No way!
MAISIE
Isn’t that why you were giving me a party?
LUCY
Yeah!
FELICITY
Uh, yeah, I guess/
MAISIE
/I’m gonna get a pony! And buy more beer. What the heck, let’s go out and do something fun!
FELICITY
We can stay here, save your money.
LUCY
If Maisie wants to go out we should all go out. Maybe it’ll bring us luck too/
MAISIE
/It wasn’t luck, I stole it. (shows ticket) Grabbed it off some hipster outside the Twitter building. Gotta do SOMEthing when you don’t have a job anymore.
FELICITY
You didn’t, Maisie, what, job?
LUCY
Good for you Maisie! Good luck/
MAISIE
/Luck is what you make it, right . (BEAT) I know the party was fake, Jeddy fired me this afternoon. I can laugh now, I’m laughing all the way to the bank. See you some time.
MAISIE starts to leave, trips over party rubble,
falls over and passes out.
LUCY
Luck is what you make it. (takes ticket from MAISIE)
FELICITY
Bad luck is what you make it too, Lucy. Maisie took that ticket and now/
LUCY
/She’ll never know what hit her. (BEAT) She’ll be fine.(BEAT) Let’s you and me go
down to the OK Corral, get a few drinks?
FELICITY
We better cash in the ticket on the way. No more accidents.
LUCY
You said it! And call Jeddy, tell him we won’t be in tomorrow….or any other time…
LUCY and FELICITY exit. MAISIE wakes up.
MAISIE
(pulls another ticket out of her pocket) Grab TWO tickets. Keep the winning one. THAT’S
when skill and opportunity meet.
MAISIE exits.
END OF PLAY.
Art and Music in Our Souls 