Directed by Alison Whismore

With Jessica Risco, Christian Haines & Jaime Lee Currier

Dad – Lonely, morose
Gina – Happy, perky

Filona- Happy, non-chalant

Takes place in an apartment

Lights up on Dad sitting in front of a laptop with his favorite blanket his wife left him, laughing then crying.)

Gina

(Entering) Good morning.

Dad

(nods)

Gina

You ok dad?

Dad
Yeah I’m ok, just…you know.

Gina

Yeah .

Dad
Why don’t you come and pull up a chair.

Filona

(entering)

Gina
Well if I do that who’s going to make breakfast?

Filona

I will.

Gina

You?

Filona
Yeah what’s wrong with that?

Gina
You burnt water the last time you were making…what were you making again?

Filona
(Mumbles)

Gina

What was that?

Filona

Popcorn.

Gina

(sarcastic) Y eah.

Dad

(Laughs again) Idiots.

Filona

Dad!?

Dad
What, no not you. This (points at laptop)

Filona
What are you watching this time?

Dad
Nothing really. You ever notice that some of the best commercials had the worst tv shows attached to them and to balance it out the dumb ones had the best tv shows.

Gina
You mean tv shows dad.

Filona
Yeah it’s the other way around; commercials are attached to tv shows.

Dad
No it’s the commercials that drive everything. The tv shows are just fillers for all the good and goofy stuff we want out of life.

Gina

Dad?

Dad
Think about. Think of your life as a tv show. Slow, prodding, about as exciting as watching two Sloths play tennis; or maybe it’s super exciting like watching two Sloths play tennis.

Filona
Dad come on now.

Dad
No no no just hear me out. I truly believe We exist to be the commercials in each others lives…

Gina
(unsure what to say) Dad.

Dad
…they guide us to buy and try new things…

Filona Daddy

Dad
…to believe in, the unbelievable, the unfathomable, to open our hearts, and minds and just listen, to certain absurdities as possibilities.

Gina

Dad…mom.

Dad
Don’t say that word nor her name; we’re going to treat it like this is a dead-ass Harry Potter novel.

Gina
Ok. Ok but, you can’t sit here everyday feeling sad for yourself because she left.

Dad
And No. Life is not like a box of stupid ass chocolates. It’s like that mouse short, fast and dead.

Filona

Wait what!

Gina
Mouse, what mouse!

Dad
Commercials. Girls that’s the key. (calmly points to mouse by Filona) it’s over there.

Filona
(jumps away) Eeeeeeh…. I don’t see it!!

Gina

Is it dead!?

Filona
Who gives a fuck if it’s dead or not, it’s a fucking mouse.

Dad
That’s why I’ve been watching tv shows hour after hour every day. To collect the commercials. Separate the good from the bad. So I can study; So the next one won’t leave me.

Gina

Where’s the mouse!!

Dad
(To himself) She left me…

Gina & Filona
Where’s the fucking mouse!!!!!

(Dad Points anywhere, the girls scramble to find it)

Dad
She left me to start a Now dead-ass polka dancing mariachi band, after seeing commercials for a Polish vacation and Taco Bell!!!!

(Girls find the mouse and crushes it)

Filona
Shit that was close

Gina
I think we need to make a run for mouse traps

Dad

Good girls

Filona
I doubt it very seriously you’ll to have worry about anyone leaving you.

Gina
Hey maybe you’ll find Beyoncés corpified ass..yeah?!

Dad
Yeah.
(excited)
Let’s go get some bacon!!

(everyone starts grabbing their zombie protective and attack gear)

Gina
(throwing mouse in the garbage)

Damn zombies even come in mouse size

The End

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