Directed by David O. Stein

With Dorian Lockett & Jazmine Pierce

 

Lights up on MARY sitting at her kitchen table. It is midnight. She is working on crossword puzzle in her bathrobe while wearing a pair of reading glasses. She occasionally yawns and looks at her

watch, which is lying on the table.

 

MARY

Eight letters. Synonym for apoplexy. Apoplexy… apoplexy…

 

She ponders the word for a moment. She grabs her phone and Googles “apoplexy.”

 

MARY

(Reads) Incapacity or speechlessness caused by extreme anger. (Returning to the

crossword) Eight letters… Eight letters…

 

She counts the number of letters of a few words to herself. None of them are eight letters. Finally she realizes the word.

 

MARY

(Writing the word as she says it) Po…lit…ics…

 

JOE walks in behind her unnoticed. He is

sleepwalking. He runs into a wall and falls to the ground, making a dramatic sound that catches MARY’S attention. She walks over to his body.

 

MARY

Joe? You there Joe? Joey?

 

MARY snaps her finger in JOE’S face. He slowly comes to.

MARY

You were sleepwalking again.

 

JOE

 

Again?

 

MARY

Again.

 

MARY returns to her crossword and continues working on it as she speaks with JOE.

JOE

Damn it.

 

MARY

Have you been using the tapes?

 

JOE

What tapes?

 

MARY

The hypnosis tapes.

 

JOE

Oh yeah… that used to be okay. But now it doesn’t seem to be doing anything anymore.

 

MARY

Pity.

 

JOE

What are you doing up?

 

MARY

Insomnia.

 

JOE

Insomnia?

 

MARY

(Writing the word as she speaks) In…som…ni…a….

 

JOE

Those crosswords are keeping you up. They get your mind all excited.

 

MARY

Why don’t you go back to sleep? I’ll be there in a second.

 

JOE

I’m telling you, you’re not going to be able to fall asleep if you keep-

 

MARY

(Writing the words as she speaks) Con…de….scen…ding…

 

JOE

Forget it. Goodnight.

 

JOE retreats to the bedroom. MARY continues her Crossword.

 

MARY

Ten letters… A figure with eleven sides..

 

MARY Googles the answer with her phone.

 

MARY

(Writing the word as she speaks) Hen…dec….a…gon…

 

JOE starts screaming bloody murder offstage. MARY remains surprisingly calm. She gets up from her chair and grabs a spray bottle filled with water. She squirts a few times into the air, then exits. Offstage, MARY sprays JOE with the water. We hear him gasp into consciousness.

 

JOE

(Offstage) Thanks.

 

MARY returns to the kitchen and resumes her crossword.

 

MARY

Ten letters…

 

JOE sleepwalks onto the stage. He repeats the same movement sequence as his first entrance and lands on the floor. MARY takes a deep breath and waits a few moments. She calls to him from her

chair.

 

MARY

Joe. Joe. Joe.

 

MARY grabs the spray bottle and walks over to him. She sprays him in the face and he abruptly awakes.

 

JOE

Jesus Christ.

 

MARY returns to her crossword, visibly agitated.

 

JOE

Are you okay, Mary?

 

MARY

(Throwing down her crossword) No Joe, I’m not okay. I’m not even a little okay.

 

JOE

Mary, what’s going on?

 

MARY

I can’t take it anymore! I can’t take the sleepwalking and the night terrors. I can’t sit in this

kitchen from dusk till dawn doing crossword puzzles, waiting for you to need my help.

 

JOE

You know I can’t –

 

MARY

I know, I know, but I’m sorry I can’t take it anymore.

 

(Pause)

 

JOE

Well what do you want to do?

 

MARY

I don’t know.

 

(Pause)

 

MARY has an epiphany.

 

MARY

Oh my god…. I’ve got it.

 

JOE

You do?

 

MARY grabs the crossword puzzle, and writes the word she has been searching for that has suddenly dawned upon her.

 

MARY

(Writing the word as she speaks) Bar..dol..a….try…! Anyways, back to what we were talking

about-

 

JOE

What’s going on, Mary?

 

MARY

Joe, I think it’s time we split.

 

JOE

But I love you, Mary!

 

MARY

(Extremely earnest) Listen to me. We’ve tried. We put in the time, we put in the work. And

sometimes, that’s just not enough. Sometimes the little things you thought you could get

used to just end up crawling under your skin and eating you inside out. I want you to be

happy. And I want me to be happy. And I just don’t think those things are compatible

anymore. I love you, but this is where I am and I owe it you to be honest with you.

 

(Pause)

 

JOE wakes up dramatically. He has been

sleepwalking during their entire conversation.

 

JOE

Hi love. (Realizing he must have been sleepwalking) Did you say something?

 

MARY is speechless. She grabs her spray bottle and drenches Joe with it.

 

Blackout.

 

END OF PLAY

 

Advertisement