LIGHTS UP ON:
MARJORIE, who wears a t-shirt that
reads #MAGA on the front. She wears a
red cap that reads “#MAGA”. She stands
in front of a table with a poster
board sign taped to it that also reads
“#MAGA”.
A young WOMAN passes by.
MARJORIE
Hi! Thank you! Support MAGA! Hashtag MAGA!
WOMAN
Eat shit and die.
The WOMAN marches off.
MARJORIE
Oh. Well. That’s not very nice to say in public.
She recovers.
MARJORIE
Hashtag MAGA! Together, united, we can make a change! MAGA!
The WOMAN comes back on.
WOMAN
Hey. Sheep. After you’re done fucking your mom, go fuck
yourself!
She storms off again. Marjorie shouts
after her.
MARJORIE
Hey! First of all, that’s actually physically impossible.
Secondly, my mother’s dead. So THERE! (beat) Yeah, I don’t
think I came out on top on that one.
PHIL enters, crossing in front of
Marjorie’s stand.
MARJORIE
Hashtag MAGA! Support a better world, a better America!
PHIL
Gross. I can’t believe you have the gall to come out here
in public and spout your hate.
MARJORIE
What? Hate? I’m talkin’ ’bout MAGA! It’s all about love.
PHIL
Look, I don’t know what kind of sick game you’re playin’
here, but it’s not funny! This kind of thinking is
destroying the very foundations of our country!
Phil storms toward the exit.
MARJORIE
Sick? How can you even say that? You’re a bigot!
Stopping mid stride.
PHIL
I’M the bigot? I AM? Are you kidding me? Get your head
screwed on straight, lady.
He moves toward the exit again.
MARJORIE
Hashtag MAGA! Make America Gay Again! Support love in all
its forms! Make America Gay Again!
Phil stops on a dime. He turns to her.
PHIL
Um. Ec.. Excuse me. What did you say?
MARJORIE
Support love in all its forms?
PHIL
No no no, the other thing. The MAGA thing.
MARJORIE
Oh. Make America Gay Again! It’s our slogan. Catchy, huh?
PHIL
Yeah…
A WOMAN crosses in front of them.
MARJORIE
Hashtag MAGA! We would love your support!
WOMAN
Fuck off!
The woman exits.
MARJORIE
That’s like the fifth f-bomb someone’s yelled at me today.
People can be so rude! Don’t they see a show of love and
solidarity when it’s starin’ ’em in the face?
PHIL
Yeah, uh… maybe you should think about a different
slogan.
MARJORIE
Why?
PHIL
Why? Why?! Do you live under a rock?
MARJORIE
No. And I don’t think you should go around spreading the
stereotype that all gay people live under rocks. That’s
discriminatory.
PHIL
That’s not what… I… that’s not even a thing. Look, what
are you talking about? MAGA means “Make America Great
Again”.
MARJORIE
No it doesn’t.
(handing him a pamphlet)
Says right here. “Make America Gay Again”. See?
PHIL
You don’t really follow politics much, do you.
MARJORIE
Not really, no.
PHIL
But you’ve heard of Donald Trump.
MARJORIE
The guy from “The Apprentice”? Sure, everyone’s heard of
him. Didn’t he also like, sell steaks or somethin’?
PHIL
No. I mean, yes. The guy from “The Apprentice”. But Donald
Trump. The President.
MARJORIE
Of what?
PHIL
THE UNITED STATES! Where you live! He’s the leader of your
country. Of of of the free world!
MARJORIE
Not ringin’ a bell. Sorry. What happened to that one guy…
what’s his name? OH-BAM-UH? The Kenya guy.
PHIL
Oh my god. Is this what an aneurism feels like?
Another YOUNG WOMAN, wearing a hip
graphic tee walks by.
MARJORIE
Hi! Support love! Support Hashtag MAGA!
PHIL
You really have to stop saying that.
YOUNG WOMAN
OMG! Hashtag MAGA!
MARJORIE
Make America Gay Again!
YOUNG WOMAN
Make America Gay Again!
YOUNG WOMAN
Holy crap, I love that! You go, girl!
She exits.
PHIL
Am I, am I hallucinating? Am I like that guy Russel Crowe
played in “A Beautiful Mind”? Are you real?
MARJORIE
Are you talking to me?
PHIL
I just don’t get it. How can you be a functioning person in
society and not know that Donald Trump is president? How
can you ignore the lying, the misogyny, the ties with
mobsters, the ties with Russian mobsters, shady real estate
deals, lying every day, firing James Comey, early morning
poop tweets, Stormy Daniels, Fox and Friends, Michael
Cohen, Michael Cohen paying Stormy Daniels, the Trump Tower
meeting, the other Trump tower meeting, Robert Mueller,
over a dozen campaign official indictments, Russian
interference in the election, Michael Flynn, Sean Spicer,
calling Mexicans rapists, calling Mexicans animals, Rudy
Giuliani, the trillion dollar tax cut, “grab ’em by the
pussy”, the pee tape, and fuckin’ Sarah Huckabee FUCKIN’
Sanders!
He calms himself for a moment.
MARJORIE
I don’t really watch the news.
PHIL
OH MY GOD.
Another young woman walks by.
YOUNG WOMAN
Hell yeah! Make America Gay Again!
She exits.
PHIL
I think my brain is broken.
MARJORIE
I just… I just want America to accept my queer family.
PHIL
I’m GAY! I’m gay, and that’s a terrible slogan. MAGA, to
everyone else in the world is “Make America Great Again.”
Period. You need to find a new slogan. And by the way,
America is already gay! It doesn’t need to be “gay again.”
I come from a long line of proud gays. My father was gay,
and and and my uncle! And my grandfather was gay! Three
generations of proud gay men. And I don’t want you ruining
all their work with a poorly thought out slogan.
There’s a moment of silence.
MARJORIE
For a bunch of gay guys, ya’ll have a lot of kids.
PHIL
Fuck it. Just… just give me one of those buttons.
MARJORIE
Hashtag MAGA!
An OLD WOMAN walks on.
OLD WOMAN
Oh. My Gawd. Make America Gay Again! I LOVE IT.
PHIL
Kill me.
LIGHTS FADE.
Art and Music in Our Souls 