Lights fade up on woman gazing out into the stars with a paper and pencil in hand.
Norma- (writing in her notebook) Oh moon. (scratches it out) Oh Earth. Earth of my heart, my long lost lover my home… Art though blue from sadness? (scratches it out) Stupid. In the lonely hours of the endless night, I look to you, moon (scratches) Earth… FROM the moon… I croon… Like a loon (scratches) God Damnit.
(Man walks in after a hard days work)
Norman- Hello Darling. How are your Moon poems coming along?
Norma- You’re home early today. Got all your terraforming done for the day?
Norman- Well Norma, to be quite honest no, no I didn’t. Moon Plum? (offering a plum before taking a bite) I thought I’d let myself off a little early today due to the never ending Moon storm out there. As soon as I get out there my coffee is just pure Moon sand sludge. Mmm this is good. Sure you don’t want one? And I think it might’ve made me a little sick so… anyway enough about me. Hey, how are those Moon Poems coming along? (opens newspaper)
Norma- Just poems Norman. Not moon poems. Not everything… You drank the coffee after you discovered it was pure Moon sludge?
Norman- Listen to this Norma; “China explores new treatment for Moon Worms” Would you look at that.
Norma- That paper’s from last year Norman.
Norman- What? What year is it? Oh I suppose it doesn’t matter anyway. Say how are those Moon poems of yours coming along?
Norma- They’re not.
Norman- Not what?
Norma- Coming. Nothing’s coming. Ever.
Norman- I think someone’s coming up the path.
Norma- What? Oh that’s just Gary.
Norman- Gary? What the hell does he want?
Norma- Oh he wanders around here sometimes. He’s very friendly.
Norman- He wanders? Not here he doesn’t. I didn’t travel 238,000 miles and give up all my worldly possessions so I could look out my window and see Hippie Gary trip traipsing along, eying my Moon Plums. What do you mean friendly?
Norma- Oh he’s very friendly Norm. (seductively) Sometimes, I think he can see me in the window. Sometimes when I’m barely wearing…
Norman- Look at him! Look how close he is to our Moon plum tree! Doesn’t he have better things to do than to look at my moon plums? I mean I’m out there terraforming all goddamn day.
Norma- (still trying) You don’t like Gary looking at your belongings do you?
Norman- Christ, that’s not it Norma. It’s just he’s neglecting his duties as a colonizer, that’s all. Why do you think we live on one of the richest properties on the Moon?
Norma- To be utterly alone?
Norman- Not with Gary we’re not. Where does Gary find all this free time? I like to wander. I didn’t travel 238,000 miles and give up all my worldly possessions to come here and terraform all day, absolutely not, no sir. I have other duties to attend to. Duties as a colonizer, set forth and established, long before Gary.
Norma- I believe we were intended to procreate…
Norman- Mhmm, absolutely. Procreation.
Norma- and that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon.
Norman- An essential duty as a colonizer.
Norma- Probably never will.
Norman- And the list goes on… Procreation, uh… report findings.
Norma- What have you found Norman? What could we possibly find here?
Norman- (to himself looking out the window) Some really interesting things. (turning back to Norma) And how about the Moon Shed? When am I supposed to find time to finish that?
Norma- Glad to see you’re getting your priorities straightened out, Darling.
Norman. You’re right Norma. My priority is the Moon shed.
Norma- Why don’t you just say Tool Shed? Why is it always Moon Shed or Moon Plums, Moon wine, as if I need to be reminded that we live on the Moon!? (coming to terms with this statement) We live on the fucking Moon.
Norman- I still can’t believe it either. We live on the Moon! Can you believe it’s been 10 years?
Norma- Yes.
Norman- (to himself out the window again) Yet I’ve made very little progress Terraforming.
Norma- Norman can we talk?
Norman- We are talking Darling. Hehe, I’m just playing with you sweetheart. (Gives her a kiss on the head.) Well. I think I’m gonna go take a moon bath.
Norma- Wair, (grabbing him and looking him in the eyes.) Norman
Norman- Norma
Norma- Do you even want to have children?
Norman- Moon children? I mean uh., you and me? Of course. Absolutely. (out the window again) I want nothing more.
Norma- (seductively) Well you know what needs to happen first right? In order to have children…? You..need to…
Norman- The Shed? Ah jeez Norma, that’s what I was just saying.
Norma- No no no, no, not the shed. Don’t you find me attractive?
Norman- Oh honey, I love you.
Norma- Then why can’t you ever make love to me, Norman?
Norman- Well it’s just… well it’s just the terraforming darling.
Norma- Oh my god, what about the terraforming makes it so hard for you to find your way to my bed at the end of the day? Tell me Norman. I’m listening honey. Let’s work through this.
Norman- Well for one, there’s the Moonstorms.
Norma- (Trying not to be frustrated) Ok… go on.
Norman- Then there’s the Moonworms of course.
Norma- There’s treatment for that.
Norman- Bone deterioration. That’s a big one.
Norma- What do you mean Bone deterioration?
Norman- Well, due to Moon’s low gravitational pull our muscles and bones just aren’t used as much. Not in our beautiful gravity controlled home, of course, but everyday out there terraforming my bones are getting weaker, you betchya. Now that’s just a fact of life on the Moon. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve broken my knee cap.
Norma- You couldn’t tell me?
Norman- Well if I really thought about it… I mean if I had to give a number… 13?
Norma- Your knees?!
Norman- uh huh…. Uh yeah 13 times.
Norma- Oh my god Norm are you serious?
Norman- Well I can’t really feel much down there anyway on account of the Moon Worms. Trust me, if you knew the hardships of terraforming, I mean the last thing on my mind when I get home is being intimate with someone.
Norma- Me.
Norman- Right, intimate with you. And trust me, I want to! And we will. (back out to the window) By God someday we will. (turning back and grabbing the newspaper) Mind if I take this paper into the Moon bath?
Norma- Go right ahead Norman…. (grabs her notebook and looks back up at Earth.) The Moon… (lights fade as she slumps down in her chair and defeated, gradually takes on the look of a comatose mental patient) Plums… Worms… Moon…. Moon…. Moon.