EDWARD, Ray Renati – 50s Male

VERA, Celia Maurice – 50s Female

Lights up on VERA and EDWARD hosting HOA Board Meeting that is intermixed with Vera’s fantasies.

VERA

Ladies and Gentleman of the board, if we want to generate interest in the Annual Ice Cream Social, the answer is Twitter.

EDWARD

Thank you, Vera! As President of the HOA Board I would add that Ice Cream Social attendance is on the decline.

VERA

Yes, Mr. President. And I would add that social media is the answer. Our Facebook group activity has been steadily increasing.

EDWARD

Yes! And now we’re ready for that leap to the gold standard of social media: The Twitter! Yes, Vera, yes.

Vera head sway to cue transition to Vera fantasy. Lights flicker, sexy music.

 

VERA

Yes, Edward, yes. I may have noticed you liking my Facebook posts.

Nearing Edward seductively.

And I may have noticed that I can’t seem to stop looking at your photos. And I daren’t say you are the sole reason I joined the HOA Board…

EDWARD

Vera, have I told you how long I’ve been waiting for you to join the HOA Board?

Heated gestures as he moves towards her

Very few are suited for the position, but I always imagined-

VERA

Heated gestures towards him

Oh Edward, I have imagined you in many, many positions.

Lights off. Edward and Vera quickly resume original positions. Music off. Lights on.

EDWARD

Mrs. Kaufmann’s post in the Facebook group last week about her stolen Amazon package was a reminder to us all of just how important it is to remain connected.

VERA

How my heart goes out to Mrs. Kaufmann!

EDWARD

And thanks to the Facebook group, her HOA Board was able to be there for her. And remind her of that wonderful Amazon Prime policy. Ladies and gentlemen of our esteemed HOA Board. Our community needs the Twitter!

Vera head sway to cue transition to Vera fantasy. Lights flicker, sexy music.

VERA

Begins crawling across table top towards Edward.

And I need you, Edward! Mr. President, your words touch me in so many ways that I find I might…touch myself!

EDWARD

Looks at her, reaches towards her imploringly as she crawls across the table top.

Yes, Vera, yes. I want you to touch yourself!

VERA

Ohhhhh Mr. President!

Edward and Vera near embracing.

Lights off. Edward and Vera quickly resume original positions. Music off. Lights on.

VERA

Yes, Mr. President. Twitter. And without further ado I move that the board launch a Twitter campaign for this year’s Ice Cream social!

EDWARD

We have a motion! And …Edward looks around the room at the audience, representative of the board…honored board members to second that motion? Over here? Mr. Peterson, I know how much you love a scoop of Rocky Road….anyone?…Mrs. Corbin, you’re very active in the Facebook group! Most esteemed board members…this is your opportunity to save our Annual Ice Cream Social!

Vera head sway. Lights flicker, sexy music.

VERA

Ohhhhh Mr. President. Over here.

Begins seductive dance, moving slowly towards Edward. Circles behind him.

 

EDWARD

Over where?

VERA

Turning him towards her.

Mr. President!

EDWARD

With more desperation.

Yes, Vera. That’s right. I am your President. Yours Vera! It’s always, only been about one thing! You know me. You know what I want!

VERA

Continuing seductive dance moves.

Oh yes, Mr. President, yes. And that is why I move…that the President of the Board…take me right here, right now!

EDWARD

Pulling her towards him, impassioned kissing/stage kissing.

I second that motion!

Lights off. Edward and Vera quickly resume original positions. Music off. Lights on.

EDWARD

I second that motion!

VERA

Gasp! Stop doing that! We’re in…looks around self consciously as she realizes that Edward is not talking to her.

 

EDWARD

What was that Vera?

VERA

N-nothing.

 

EDWARD

Vera, I’ve been waiting for this moment. You’re the only woman who can give me what I want! Beat

 

 

Finally, my first Tweet. Hashtag ice cream Social.

Lights off

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