CHARACTERS:

FREDERICK An African American Elvis impersonator and minister at the MAGA Las Vegas wedding chapel.

JORDAN A young woman, engaged to AMANDA

AMANDA A young woman, engaged to JORDAN

Casting Note, (taken and adapted from Chuck Mee)

 

In this play, as in life itself, any female character can be played by a women in a wheelchair or a woman of color. And that is not the subject of the play. There is not a single role in this play that must be played by a physically intact white person.

SETTING: MAGA (May All Glamour Adorn) Las Vegas wedding chapel. The present.

At Rise: JORDAN and AMANDA wait their turn in the wedding chapel.

JORDAN

Nervous?

AMANDA

No. Maybe. A little.

JORDAN

We could have gone to City Hall, not make a big fuss.

AMANDA

I’m fine, I mean, the Supreme Court says it’s OK, so nobody can take it away, right?

JORDAN

(BEAT) Seriously? Who knows what that big orange Cheeto has up his slimy sleeves?

AMANDA

But the SUPREME COURT! He can’t do anything about that can he?

JORDAN

(BEAT)We’ll see.

AMANDA

I’m not going to worry about it. A lot of people fought for us to be able to do this.

JorDAN

I don’t think people fought so we could have a quickie ceremony at a cheesy Vegas chapel.

AMANDA

I wanted to be spontaneous! Romantic! (BEAT) And this was the only one that had times open. Come on, Jordan, aren’t you excited? A little?

JORDAN

Yeah. But I can’t stop thinking about all the women who didn’t get the chance.

AMANDA

We can celebrate them too. Our love will represent all those women/

JORDAN

/But it doesn’t! We’re so…lucky.

AMANDA

It’s our day AND their day.

JORDAN

I’ve watched the YouTubes, Amanda, people got their heads bashed in, lesbians had to hide, couldn’t get healthcare, couldn’t even live together openly. How dare we celebrate like that never happened?

AMANDA

That’s why we HAVE to celebrate! Show the world we’re here, we’re queer, we’re not afraid. (BEAT) You love me right? Come on Jordan, let’s do this!

FREDERICK enters in Elvis regalia. He does an Elvis riff – sings a few lines of a song, executes some dance moves – without initially noticing AMANDA and JORDAN.

FREDERICK

Oh. Hello. Welcome to the MAGA Wedding Chapel. Where’s the lucky hound dogs? (BEAT) The grooms? I have a JORDAN on my list here? And Amanda?

JORDAN

I’m Jordan. This is Amanda. And we’re marrying each other.

FREDERICK

Oh no – you got to return to sender! I only do legal type weddings here.

AMANDA

It’s legal now you know. Everywhere.

FREDERICK

This is Viva Las Vegas, baby, I just marry drunks and pregnant teenagers.

JORDAN

You can’t refuse us! Who do you think you are Kim Davis? It’s our legal right.

FREDERICK

Ooh I’m all shook up! Legal? Be careful or you’ll be singing Jailhouse Rock.

AMANDA

Don’t be cruel! (BEAT) Our foremothers, fathers, worked hard to get us here. Jordan and I love each other, we want to marry just like…people like you have always been able to!

FREDERICK

Like me? Honey you don’t know anything ’bout me.

JORDAN

I do know that same sex marriage is legal in EVERY state and Nevada just passed a STATE law making it legal HERE in case the new Supreme Court gets their dicks up their asses and reverses their decision. So get out the good book and get us married! Amanda, I love you and no one is going to stop us getting married here today!

AMANDA

Oooh honey I love when you talk like that!

FREDERICK

(BEAT)Think it’s been easy for me? (BEAT) I’m a gay, black, Elvis impersonator – you don’t think I got some flack? I’ve been beat, spit on, car trashed, graffiti on my windows….and I’ve lost lovers, friends too. Especially in the day. Got this job when my lover died, couldn’t face San Francisco anymore. (FREDERICK rolls up one sleeve) See this scar? Got that from a Prop 8 supporter, down in San Francisco, protest in front of City Hall.

JORDAN

All the more reason to marry US!

FREDERICK

You can’t fool me. Harvey Milk wasn’t all that long ago. We still lose jobs, families abandon us, friends disappear, AIDS still with us, seems like nothing’s really changed. No, I ‘m done with being myself.

AMANDA

And be miserable? If we don’t live our lives the haters win.

JORDAN

You know what I did when someone spit on me at Gay Pride last year? (BEAT) I kissed her. Scared the fuck out of her but …after that, I felt stronger. Tougher But softer. Something magic happened that day and I haven’t looked back. Living my life. With my love.

AMANDA

She’s right…Frederick, right?. Doesn’t it seem like there’s a …flood sometimes, we all feel stronger, without even realizing it. You can do this. Be who you are. Take a chance. On love. Love. It’s magic. And Magic Always Grants Aspirations.

FREDERICK

Abracadabra! (FREDERICK does a magic dance) So, is there gonna be a wedding today? Cause I’m all shook up for this par-TAY!

AMANDA

Jordan? Marry me?

JORDAN

It’s now or never, baby!

JORDAN and AMANDA embrace.

FREDERICK

By the power vested in me as the King – of Love, I now pronounce you married to each other. May all gladness appear!

FREDERICK changes the chapel sign from MAY ALL GLAMOUR ADORN to MARRIAGE AVOWS GAY AND LESBIAN AFFECTION.

AMANDA and JORDAN exit to strains of Elvis’ “Burning Love.”

END OF PLAY

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