Zeke is sleeping. Hank runs on with a gun drawn searching for snipers. He makes sure everything is safe and then wakes Zeke.

HANK:

Zeke. Zeke!! get up. Tim’s gone.

ZEKE:

What? What the fuck, Hank?

HANK:

Tim’s gone.

ZEKE:

What!?

HANK:

I looked out in the field, over by the barn, everywhere.

ZEKE:

He wouldn’t go further.

HANK:

Exactly. We have to move out and find him.

Hank heads for the door. Zeke get’s up but seems to have a hard time of it.

ZEKE:

Slow down. We don’t know what’s out there.

HANK:

I know that there’s…

ZEKE:

I know, but we have be smart. What do we know?

HANK:

What?

ZEKE:

What’s the narrative? What do we know?

HANK:

What the fuck, Zeke? You know the narrative; we’re starving, running from alien arachnids who’ve sucked the blood out of every person we’ve ever known not to mention millions and millions more and Tim’s gone.

ZEKE:

Okay… but what do we know about where Tim went?

HANK:

We don’t. That’s why we have to go out and look for him.

ZEKE:

Wouldn’t it be better to stay here? You know, kind of hold down the fort and see if maybe Tim finds his way home?

HANK:

Zeke, I never took you for a pussy. If there’s a chance of getting Tim back, wouldn’t you do anything for him? I would for you. We’ve been rationing our food for almost a year and we’re almost done. I’m fucking hungry!! We have to take down the spiders to the east so we can get to that supermarket. Maybe there’s some canned stuff there. We have to defeat these fuckin’ things and Tim’s a huge asset in that fight.

Zeke let’s out a sizable burp.

ZEKE:

Yeah…

HANK:

Tim was always there for us…

ZEKE:

Wait a minute, you just said was…

HANK:

What?

ZEKE:

You said that Tim “was always” there for us.

HANK:

Yeah… that’s just because he’s not here right now so… I’m referring to the last time I saw him.

ZEKE:

What?

HANK:

Fuck you, Hank!

ZEKE:

I’m just saying; it sounds suspicious to me.

HANK:

I’m the one who’s willing to go out there to find him and risk my life. Why would I do that?

ZEKE:

That’s a good argument but, do we really know?

HANK:

You’re not only a pussy, you’re an asshole as well. You got the whole nether regions covered.

ZEKE:

I’m just saying; do we really need to risk everything for one guy who may or may not be able to make any difference at all?

HANK:

Fuck you! You want to stay here, go ahead. I’m going!

Hank starts out the door, Zeke stops him.

ZEKE:

Wait! Did you hear that?

HANK:

What?

ZEKE:

That… (makes a weird sound)

HANK:

You’re fuckin’ nuts, Zeke.

ZEKE:

No! There it is again!!

HANK:

Cut it out Zeke!

ZEKE:

I think it’s Tim!

Hank suddenly believes him.

HANK:

Really?

ZEKE:

No. I think it’s gone.

HANK:

WHAT!!!

ZEKE:

Yeah… I think it’s gone.

Hank points his gun at Zeke.

HANK:

What the fuck are you up to, Zeke?!

ZEKE:

Whoa!! Hold on, Hank! Let’s calm down here a minute. Tim’s already gone and now you want to get rid of me? Doesn’t make sense.

HANK:

What? I didn’t say I wanted to get rid of you! You’re just… Tim’s gone for the first time in months with no explanation and you’re actin’ really weird!

Throughout the following, Zeke slowly calms Hank down and gets him to put the gun down.

ZEKE:

Come on, Hank, you know me. Who was there with both you and Tim, since the start. It’s been the three of us. Shit, I’ve lost count of the times each one of us has saved the other. We’re kin. We’ve known each other for, how long? I know exactly when it was; fifth grade, Johnny Preston’s birthday party. Do you remember?

HANK:

Yeah. {some really good story about how they all met}.

ZEKE:

That’s right. And ever since, we’ve been the Three Musketeers. Now, we can go look for Tim, okay? If there is a way to find Tim, I will do everything in my power to bring him back. Let’s just take a minute and form a plan instead of running off half cocked.

Zeke takes the gun.

HANK:

Okay, what are we going to do?

ZEKE:

Alright, when was the last time you saw him?

HANK:

About midnight.

ZEKE:

What did he look like?

HANK:

What?!?

ZEKE:

I mean, what was he wearing?

HANK:

Uh, he was wearing the same thing he’s been wearing for months, same as you and me!

Hank snatches the gun out of Zeke’s hand and points it at his head, point blank.

HANK: (CONT’D)

Zeke, come clean, man!! What the fuck is going on!?!?!

ZEKE:

Okay, okay!!! I woke up about 3:00 am. I just woke up and I was wide awake… I’ve never done that before. You were asleep but Tim was up. He said he was going to get some water and did I want some. I said “Sure. Just a small glass.” He got up and started towards the door and I looked at him and I thought… “Damn, he looks good enough to eat,” so I ate him.

HANK:

Wait, what?

ZEKE:

Yeah, I ate him. Right over there. If it weren’t so dark you could see the carnage.

HANK:

YOU ATE HIM?!?!?!

Hank pushes the gun into Zeke’s temple.

ZEKE:

Yes, and I feel really bad about it. I’ve never done that before. But you know what I’m going to feel even worse about?

HANK:

I don’t give a fuck!!

Hank pulls the trigger. Nothing. He pulls it again and again, nothing happens.

ZEKE:

Having you as the second course. (singing Aerosmith) I’m Baaaaack.

Zeke pulls out the cartridge from the gun then he pulls out another gun and points it at Hank

ZEKE: (CONT’D)

Bon Appetite?

BLACKOUT

A gunshot rings out.

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