(sounds of kids is school hallways, school-bell ringing)
Principal (recorded): Take a seat folks, take a seat… let’s speed it up Mr. Kowalski. Students, I want you all to give an enthusiastic welcome (he’s interrupted) Ms. Beverley do not walk away from me, do not! Sarah, will you go get her? MmHmm, like I was saying, Please welcome the performing troop that’s come all the way from the Salt Lake City to teach you about making, mmhmm, correct life-choices… SO PAY ATTENTION! There may be a quiz afterwards… huh huh huh huh
(Lights change and upbeat intro music plays, Richard and Lucy run out enthusiastically smiling, there is a stool with a bell on it)
Richard: Sup Guys?!
Lucy: Hey Gals! Are ya’ll ready for us to drop some knowledge on you?!
Richard: (makes exploding bomb sound) Cause we’re here from Right Life Ministries to tell you the TRUTH about… (He whispers) sex!
Lucy: Come on Richard – you can say it Richard: (Coyly) What…?
Lucy: (confidently) SEX
Richard: (Giggles boyishly)
Lucy: It’s not funny Richard, even kids our age are starting to think about sex!
Richard: Yea, I know, they MADE me sit through ALL those terrible health class videos!
Lucy: But we’re here to tell you the Truth about sex – and why you should wait till you’re married before you… go all the way…
Richard: Hey Lucy, I have an idea, why don’t we ask these guys (he indicates the audience) about a situation where they might be pressured into… you know what.
Lucy: Great idea Richard! And then we can role play a scenario to figure out what to do! Richard: Yea! Everybody loves improv theatre!
Lucy: Ok, we need your help (the audience) to come up with a location where you might feel peer-pressure. Any ideas? (whether you get responses from the audience or not you can respond with) I think I heard, “at a party.” Ok ya’ll, here we go!
(Richard signals to the tech both, and a “party” song begins, he and Lucy exit to left and right and re-enter as if they are at a party, they are clearly “in character”)
Lucy (As Party Girl): Hey there, this is a fun party, you wanna dance?
Richard (Party Dude): Who me? Sure! (they dance at some distance from each other, then start to get closer) You’re really pretty….
Lucy: Aw thanks, your pretty cute yourself… you wanna kiss?
Richard: heck yuk, aw shucks, sure
(they have a peck of a kiss, pause coyly, looking away from each other, then they locks eyes, and begin passionately making out and holding each other, this goes on for several seconds until they finally break free from each other, panting, and Richard quickly rings the bell)
Richard: OK, Freeze! (their clothes are slightly disheveled and they are fixing themselves) Now, What went wrong in that situation?
Lucy: (still panting) How could we have stopped that from escalating so quickly? (to the audience) What was that? (whether she gets a response or not) Right! Richard could have told Lucy he wasn’t ready to kiss. Great job!
Richard: (to the aud, moving on) Did you know that 100% of people who have premarital sex lose their virginity before they’re married?!
Lucy: It’s true! And most men say they would rather marry a virgin, so that they don’t have to worry about actually being good at sex!
Richard: (innocently) Lucy, what’s a virgin?
Lucy: A virgin is someone who’s waiting for that “special someone” and won’t have sex until God says its ok.
Richard: Is it lame to be a virgin? I heard my buddies make fun of someone cause they would’t go all the way.
Lucy: Being a virgin is super cool! You can spend your time studying and praying ……. And you don’t have to worry about sexually transmitted infections, or STI’s
Richard: Don’t you mean STD’s?
Lucy: They’re called STI’s now, as in sexually transmitted INFECTION (to the audience) You
don’t want to be infected do you?
Richard: (walking like a zombie toward the audience) Gruuuhhhh, Brains!!
Lucy: Haha, Richard, you’re so silly! (they eye each other lustily for a moment, before breaking free of the trance)
Richard: Let’s try another scenario!
Lucy: Can any one give us a person who you might feel attracted to? Where you get butterflies in your stomach when you look at them? (she get’s some responses from the audience, then…) I think I heard, “a pizza delivery guy!”
Richard: Ok, here we go!
(They both get set, Lucy in a chair, Richard exits ready to return – with pizza box?)
Richard: Ding Dong
Lucy: Oooh, I bet that’s my pizza! (She opens the doors)
Richard: (swarthily, maybe chewing gum?) Somebody order a pizza?
Lucy: (sexily) I did! I hope they remembered the extra sausage! (she checks the box)
Richard: That’ll be $15.30
Lucy: (checking her pockets) Oh no, I don’t have any money! Is there some other way I can pay you?
Richard: (cluelessly) We take credit cards too.
Lucy: … I was thinking of… something else… (she sneaks up to him seductively, strokes his face/mustache/something funny, then she pushes him to the floor and jumps on top of him, passionately making out, maybe she “rides him” if they are comfortable with that, make it silly)
(Richard is into it for a while then crawls toward the bell with her on top/holding him down. He eventually rings the bell.)
(They get up, panting, fix their clothes.)
Lucy: Any ideas how we could have handled that better?
Richard: Anybody? What was that? You’re right! She should have never ordered a pizza! So many empty calories!!
Lucy: I think we have time for one more scenario – any ideas?
(Maybe this comes from a plant, or again they make up their own suggestions)
Lucy (or plant): I heard, “Co-workers who are secretly in love with each other!” Richard: What could go wrong?
Lucy: Ok, great, and what should the names of our “co-workers” be? (They solicit names from the audience, and use them, or not) (this scenario feels a little too real)
Lucy: Johnny (or aud suggestion), I have something to tell you… I know we’ve worked together for a long time…
Richard: It’s ok Mariah (or aud suggestion), I know what you’re going to say…(they get closer)
Lucy: All those days out on the road, just the two of us going from town to town with only each other for company…
Richard: (Lustily) Doing the Lord’s work, putting aside our own needs…
Lucy: It’s just that, you mean so much to me, and, I don’t want things to change between us…
Richard: I know, I know… you don’t need to say another word…
(they get closer and embrace, look deeply into each other’s eyes, are about to kiss then)
Richard: Wait, we can’t do this, not here! They’re watching…
Lucy: I don’t care… I want them to watch… (they are about to kiss)
Principal: (loudspeaker/recorded) (clearing throat) AHHHHhMMMhhhMmmMHHMM (Richard and Lucy snap out of it)
Lucy: At Right Life Ministries we’re all about making the Right life choices, and we hope everyone here can pledge to make the right choices with us!
Richard: Hey Lucy, you just gave me a great idea – why don’t we take and oath to wait till we’re married to make the beast with two backs!
Lucy: Kinda like the Pledge of Allegiance! That’s sounds awesome Richard!
Richard: Ok everyone, raise your right hand and repeat after me. (he makes everyone do it)
I promise/ to wait for God’s blessing before I have sex/ to abstain from worldly desires/ especially self touching/ and to always make the Right choices in life/ and to never make baby Jesus sad by having premarital intercourse
Lucy: Great job everyone!
Principal: (interrupting on loudspeaker) OKAY ladies and gentlemen, that’s the end of our assembly, please return immediately to your classes. And let’s have a round of applause for our… friends, from Right Life Ministries.
(Lucy and Richard take a bow, class bell sounds, END)