DANNY enters. He is in hiking outfit and gear looking tired, hot and sweaty but also happy and at peace.

DANNY

Look at that! Just look at that! Have you ever seen – Max? Max! Come on! Just a little further!

MAX

(off stage) Fuck you!

DANNY

You are so close!

MAX

(off stage) Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

DANNY

It’s just a little further up and then it’s all flat up here. And the view is beautiful. I promise you can rest here at the top. I’ve got Cliff bars –

MAX

(off stage) Fuck you!

DANNY

And water.

MAX

(off stage) Fuck you!

DANNY

And chocolate covered almonds!

MAX enters. She is also in hiking outfit and gear but looks haggard, but also like they she down a bunch, like she’d gotten over heated on the trail and like she is having the worst time ever.

DANNY

You did it! Look! You did it!

MAX

Oh fuck –

DANNY

Yeah yeah yeah. I get it. Fuck me.

MAX

Why did you take me on a mother fucking death march?

DANNY

It isn’t a death march. It’s a vacation in Mexico!

MAX

You promised relaxing. Where’s the Tequila and the beaches and the amazing food and the culture?

DANNY

A hike is relaxing. We can do those other things, but that’s all just sitting around. This is an adventure!

MAX

It’s a nightmare!

DANNY

Okay. I can see you are unhappy. This trail is a loop. If we keep going we’ll end up back at the rental in no time.

MAX

How much time is “in no time?”

DANNY

A really quick three hours.

MAX

Oh fuck –

DANNY

Fuck me. I get it. I get it.

MAX

I can’t do it! I don’t want to do it! I won’t do it!

MAX throws down her gear and sits down hard.

DANNY

Wanna Clif Bar?

MAX

I want my bed. I want my cat. I want NetFlix. I want tequila.

DANNY

Well, until all that becomes available, would you like a Cliff Bar?

MAX holds her hand off for a CLIF Bar.

DANNY

But just look out there. Isn’t it beautiful?

MAX looks and then shrugs and goes back to snaking.

DANNY

I thought this would be fun. You used to like to go hiking. Remember we used to go up into the mountains with dad.

MAX

I was sixteen. I could do almost everything forever then. I’m not sixteen and I haven’t gone hiking in years.

DANNY

Ok, well. If not fun then I thought, at least, we could reconnect.

MAX

It’s probably easier to talk when you can breath.

DANNY

Probably easier to talk when you aren’t yelling “Fuck you!” at me for hours.

Pause.

MAX

Probably. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be such a bitch.

DANNY

Actually, I think you do. I think you are being a bitch to punish me for taking you out of your shitty little apartment and forcing you to see beautiful vistas and go somewhere you’ve never been before.

MAX

My apartment is not shitty.

DANNY

It is very shitty.

MAX

Fine. It’s shitty. But I like it that way.

DANNY

I don’t think you do, I think you just don’t know how to make changes.

MAX

I see, you don’t want to reconnect, you want to tell me that everything about my life is wrong and you know how to fix it.

DANNY

No, not at all. I want to talk. Just. Talk.

MAX

Ok. Then besides my terrible life –

DANNY

I don’t think your life is terrible.

MAX

What do you want to talk about? You brought me brought me to the top of a mountain –

DANNY

Hardly the top –

MAX

TALK! TALK! If you want to talk to me then TALK!

DANNY

We can’t just pick up where we left off. We haven’t talked, like really talked, in five years. That’s why I wanted to spend a long time alone so we could…ease into it.

MAX

Ease into what?

DANNY

I mean like when you go swimming in a cold pool. You walk in slowly.

MAX

I’ve never done that. I always just jump in. You acclimate faster. So just start. Just jump on in.

DANNY

Ok. So. How are you?

MAX

Ugh! If you have something to say to me just say it!

DANNY

It isn’t that easy –

MAX

Say anything! Anything at all! You haven’t actually said anything this whole trip except that I have a shitty apartment and that the view is great and one that there is just one more hill. Which is a lie, by the way, there are a billion more hills. If you have something to say then say it. Say it. SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT!

DANNY

I can’t just say it because I have a million things to say! It isn’t just one thing! It’s a million. Like: I’m lonely since the divorce, I miss dad and I don’t think I ever dealt with his death, my job is amazing and I love it and it scares me that I might be in the last job I’ll ever have. I don’t have any hobbies and I think that means there is something wrong with me. I miss you and I think you are in a weird anxiety depression thing that I don’t understand but you are pushing everyone away and it’s worrying the hell out of me and I don’t want to lose you. I spent a weekend in Las Vegas and I loved it so much and it feels like I have a crush on a city and I can’t wait to go back. Also I am spending way too much time on Twitter recently.

He pauses.

See. That was too much for just all at once. I wanted to ease into it.

MAX stands up.

MAX

Ok. I’m ready to go now.

DANNY

Really?

MAX

No. Fuck you. I hate this. But. I also love you. And I am depressed and it is pretty bad, which is why I’ve been seeing a therapist and if you want to talk about it I would rather do it on a beach and the only way to get to a beach is to keep going so…fuck you. Let’s get going.

DANNY

Just one more hill.

MAX

Fuck you.

DANNY

Fair.

They exit.

 

End of scene