Anna – Millennial who finds a thrifty curbside couch that turns out to be haunted

Jayme – Anna’s friend who appears to be possessed by a demon baby doll

Anna enters holding a sign:

The following is based on a true story.

Anna lifts up an additional sign:

Sort of.

Anna exits.

Jayme lounges on on the sofa. Anna enters.

Jayme

This.. is the most comfortable sofa.. My butt has ever felt…

Anna

What did I tell you? Curbside sofas for the win!

Jayme

What psychopath would give away a sofa made of unicorn dreams?

Anna

Ok that’s enough. My turn.

Anna pushes Jayme off the sofa and takes her place.

Jayme

Where’d you say you found this bad boy?

Anna

It was on the corner of Lincoln and Everett.

Jayme

Kind of a strange place to find a sofa… don’t you think?

Anna

Jealous, much?

Jayme

Aren’t you worried it might have bed bugs or something?

Anna

Who cares? My lumbar feels like it’s being massaged by a thousand teacup chihuahuas.

Jayme

(Through gritted teeth) How…. delightful…

Jayme looks behind the couch.

Jayme

What’s this?

Anna

What’s what?

Jayme

There’s a hole in the back of the couch.

Anna

Yeah, it’s a street couch! I’m lucky it’s just a hole and not a racoon.

Jayme

There’s something inside it… Holy crap!

Jayme pulls out a horrifying, nightmarish baby doll from the hole in the wall. It’s eyes are gouged out and it has blood all over it’s dress.

Anna

What is that?!?

Jayme

It was in the couch!

Anna

Throw it away, it’s horrifying!

Jayme

Okay, okay, just give me a second.

Jayme exits with the nightmare doll.

Anna

(Talking to the sofa) Don’t worry, that devil baby can’t hurt you anymore. You and me, we’re gonna have a long life together.

Anna kisses the sofa.

Jayme enters with her eyes closed, wearing an identical outfit to the nightmare doll.

Anna

Jayme… Did you just change?

Jayme

Who is…. Jayme?

Anna

Stop it, you’re freaking me out.

Jayme

My name is… Annabelle…

Anna

Jayme, I swear to god if you don’t cut it out-

Jayme

You took me from my home.

Anna

Your home?

Jayme walks towards the couch. Anna jumps up and scurries away.

Jayme

We want to go home…

Jayme pets the couch.

Anna

Jayme you’re-

Lights flicker.

Jayme

Annabelle.

Anna

Okay… Annabelle… What is it that you want?

Jayme

I want you to take us home.

Anna

But this couch is part of my home now, you see?

Jayme

My eyes were gouged out by a twelve year old boy… so no… I don’t see.

Anna

Okay, if I return you home, will you leave me alone?

Jayme

And Winifred?

Anna

Who the hell is Winifred?

Jayme pets the couch

Jayme

Winifred…

Anna

Okay, okay, I’ll take you and Winifred home. Are we good?

Jayme

Alright. Just give me a moment to return to my original form.

Jayme Exits

Anna stands in silence. She slowly walks towards the couch and pokes it. She sits down. The lights flicker. She jumps up, screaming.

Jayme returns with the doll.

Jayme

Hey, I’m feeling kind of weird. Do you mind throwing this out yourself?

Anna

NO! No, uh, I’ve decided to return the couch. It’s not really my style. Just give me a minute. I’m gonna call James and see if we can use his truck. Just.. hold onto that.

Anna exits.

 

Jayme sits down. She pulls out a cellphone and makes a call.

Jayme

Hey, it’s me… Yeah she totally bought it… She’s been listening to way too many murder podcasts… Great work with the doll, the eyes even freaked me out… You know, the eye thing… Wait, what?…

Jayme reaches behind the couch and pulls out a second doll out of the hole. It’s missing an arm but otherwise appears relatively normal. Jayme looks back and forth between the two dolls. She screams.

 

Blackout.

 

END OF PLAY