Directed by James Nelson
Featuring Melissa Ortiz & Christian Haines
“A Resolution”
Zoe Young
310 570 6777
Characters:
WOMAN: Melissa Haines – early 30s – in the early stages of a relationship with MAN – wearing a party dress and heals with buckles.
MAN: Christian Haines – early 30s – in the early stages of a relationship with WOMAN – wearing a button down tucked into nice pants, his tie is loosened.
Setting: “The other room” of a New Years party for a theater company. WOMAN and MAN have escaped the dance floor into a comfortable side room where they are alone. The space is decorated comfortably with carpet, large pillows on the floor, a few blankets, and a little table here and there. New Years paraphernalia i.e., balloons and noisemakers and a few half full glasses of champagne are scattered around the room.
Songs to be played:
Potential ending music: One More for the Road – Dianne Reeves
Lights up on the empty other room. Instrumental big band swing is heard from off stage amid party noises i.e., laughing and the clinking of glasses.
Enter WOMAN running into the room and collapsing gratefully into the pile of large pillows. She turns onto her back and lets out a smiling sigh of relief. She proceeds to take off one of her shoes and hurl it across the room.
Enter MAN, who stands in the doorway through which WOMAN entered.
MAN
Now that’s how you leave a party.
WOMAN
We haven’t left yet. (Smiles coyly at MAN and gestures to him with her shod foot)
MAN walks to her and proceeds to take off the remaining shoe.
MAN
Where’s the other one?
WOMAN indicates with her head the location of the other shoe. But before MAN can walk over to retrieve it, WOMAN sweeps his legs out from under him and he comes toppling down onto the pillows with her.
MAN CON’T
Sweeping me off my feet?
WOMAN
Happy New Year.
The two kiss.
Then WOMAN squirms onto MAN’S chest to make herself more horizontal.
MAN
(Petting woman’s head)
You really made an exit there. Nikki thought she’d insulted your mother.
WOMAN
I said ‘excuse me.’
MAN
And then ran like villagers were chasing you.
WOMAN
It wasn’t her—and let me just say in those heals, they would have to be pretty decrepit villagers. I just had to get out of there.
MAN
Too much party?
WOMAN
Theater people, they sap your energy.
MAN
(Sarcastically) Oh yeah?
WOMAN
Yeah, if they’re not dancing a mile a minute, or telling you their life story, they’re on the floor in a vaguely humping, singing pile.
MAN looks down into WOMAN’S eyes, indicating with his body the fact that she is now in a comparable pile.
WOMAN CON’T
It’s different. I’m a director, I want my own pile.
MAN
(Laughs) So I see.
WOMAN
And I can direct my pile too.
WOMAN takes MAN’S hand and puts it bluntly on her breast.
MAN CON’T
Whoa there.
WOMAN
(Raises her own hands in a large shrug) Woops.
MAN removes hand from breast and puts it on WOMAN’S shoulder.
MAN
If that’s what you want to direct we’re gonna need a camera.
WOMAN
It’s just those fuckin’ ingénues. They get in my head. Hyenas on the dance floor.
MAN
Quick bone toss to the theater illiterate. What’s an ingénue?
WOMAN
You know. That girl.
MAN
(Sarcastically) Right. Of course.
WOMAN
That girl, that fresh-faced blond, just dying to lose her innocence in the first act. Chick like that can play 25 til she’s 50. You saw Angelica right?
MAN
Her?! There wasn’t a guy at the party she didn’t grab by the tie.
WOMAN
Exactly! A hyena. No, I take that back: one of those deep-sea fishes—the kind that glow. First it’s just a nice unassuming light, then CHOMP (makes shape of enormous mouth with outspread fingers) adios face!
MAN
(Laughs) I think you love it.
WOMAN
(Enjoying being caught) I do. And as her director I will floss her fangs until my fingers fall off. (Short beat) Who else did you talk to tonight?
MAN
Let’s see, the bartender. He and I got close.
WOMAN
I think he was the most popular party guest.
MAN
Oh, Thomas.
WOMAN
The producer?
MAN
Yup, learned all about his cock-a-poo.
WOMAN
Esmeralda Solomon.
MAN
Yes! It took me ten minutes to figure out she was a dog.
WOMAN
You should have come two years ago, he took her to the party. The man put a tiara on that hypoallergenic rat. Never before or since have I seen someone pick up dog shit with a cocktail napkin. And then he hands it to the waiter so delicately, like he expects the guy to frame it when he gets back to the kitchen.
Beat as they both laugh
WOMAN CON’T
And then Frank ends up scooping up the dog and dancing with it til’ 3:00 am. (Realizing what she’s just said) But we don’t need to talk about that.
MAN
I don’t mind.
WOMAN is silent.
The music changes to a slower paced big band arrangement.
MAN CON’T
Well I know who I’d like to scoop up and dance with.
MAN does just that, scooping woman off the floor and setting her on her feet to dance.
WOMAN throws an arm around MAN’S neck and takes his hand. They dance for a short time.
WOMAN
Thank you.
MAN
For what?
WOMAN
For coming here with me. You and me are pretty fresh and yet you’re game to get drunk with my entire company.
MAN
Always a joiner.
WOMAN
So glad.
They dance for a moment
MAN
So tell me. What’s your New Year’s resolution?
WOMAN
(Sarcastically) Hmmmm…. Potholders. I want to make hundreds of them.
MAN
Come on.
WOMAN
What, you don’t do trivets?
MAN looks at her
WOMAN CON’T
Fine. Shakespeare, I wanna get some Shakespeare up on that stage.
MAN
What kind of Shakespeare?
WOMAN
Titus Andronicus. So much blood we have to pass out ponchos to the front row.
MAN
Clair.
WOMAN
Oh I don’t know, just something with a soul. How about you? What’s your resolution?
MAN
Well, I guess I’ve got a couple: To actually quit smoking—not this one-a-day bullshit, to meet the people in my building—it’d be nice not to act like a squatter in the elevator, and… (Beat as MAN and WOMAN look into each others faces while dancing) to ask you about your ex-husband.
WOMAN
(Breaking away) Ah! What!?
MAN
You asked.
WOMAN
No you asked. Of all the bombs you could have dropped…
MAN
We were going to have to broach the subject sometime.
WOMAN
Why? There are a million other subjects to broach.
MAN
Like what?
WOMAN
Like…(She thinks rapidly) like why you keep slapping my ass when I’m blowing you.
MAN
My God, you are not serious.
WOMAN
Every time it’s like I’m in fucking Catholic school.
MAN
We can talk about this later.
WOMAN
No, I want to talk about it now.
MAN
Fine
WOMAN
So, why?
MAN
I don’t know. It’s the only way I can communicate.
WOMAN
What, like Morse Code?
MAN
Morse Code for ‘don’t stop.’ Look, I like you. And there was this guy. There was always going to have been this guy. I feel like I won’t know you until I know what happened.
WOMAN
(Takes a deep breath and stares at MAN, sizing him up) Either this is some highly evolved shit, or you’re a fool.
MAN
I’ll take either.
WOMAN
What time is it?
MAN
(Looks at watch) 1:33
WOMAN
Alright, fine. Let’s do this. But at 2:00 we’re done. (Moves to sit back down on the pillows, then turns back abruptly to MAN as he has begun to follow her) And you had better fucking quit smoking.
MAN
Done.
MAN follows WOMAN onto the pillows.
WOMAN sits up on her knees in a more active pose.
WOMAN
Where do you want me to start?
MAN
Wherever you want.
WOMAN
I don’t want…
MAN
Just say something general.
WOMAN
Okay, (Beat as she thinks) here’s something I used to say. Being with Frank was like having a puppy. For so much of the time you’re just grinning. But eventually you want to take its nose, rub it in its own shit, and say ‘look at the mess you made!’
MAN laughs
WOMAN CON’T
General enough?
MAN
How did you meet?
WOMAN
In grad school. Where everybody meets their starter husband.
MAN
So he was in theater too.
WOMAN
No, no. Engineering. I think that’s why we worked…when we worked. He thought in numbers and I thought in people.
MAN
Doesn’t seem like the most compatible set up.
WOMAN
It wasn’t. But it was fun. We did a lot of translating for each other.
MAN
How did it end?
WOMAN
Whoa buddy, we got six years of marriage to wade through and you want to skip to the end.
MAN
(Points to watch) Hey you started the clock, I could go ‘til sunrise.
WOMAN
Jesus, kill me.
MAN shrugs beseechingly
WOMAN CON’T
Fine. The end: it was awful.
MAN
What happened?
WOMAN
Why? Why are you asking? So you can gage whether or not I might cheat down the road?
MAN
I just wanna know.
WOMAN
You been cheated on before?
MAN
No.
WOMAN
Well, there’s a first time for everything.
MAN
I know that’s not what happened.
WOMAN
Oh really. Director meets a lot of people. You’d be surprised how many straight boys can crop up in this business.
MAN
I know it wasn’t that.
WOMAN
Jesus, if you know so much than why ask me?
MAN
Because there’s something I don’t know.
WOMAN
And what is that?
MAN
How he died.
WOMAN stares at him in horrified shock, eyes darting back and forth
WOMAN
Fuck you.
MAN
Clair.
WOMAN
Who told you?
MAN
No one.
WOMAN
Was it Nikki?
MAN
I can’t…
WOMAN
Of course it was. That meddling bitch.
MAN
It wasn’t…
WOMAN
Just stop denying it. Fuck! I can’t believe I brought you here.
MAN
Look Clair, it doesn’t matter how I know. I know.
WOMAN
Yes. You know. And now the widow’s out of the bag.
MAN
Widow, Clair, I want to be there for you, not buy you a black vale.
WOMAN
But I don’t want you to be there for me.
MAN
Why not?
WOMAN
Because I’m fine. Because I don’t need you. There’s no way in hell I’m needing anyone right now.
MAN
I’m not asking you to need me. I’m just trying to get you to stop lying to me.
WOMAN
I hardly know you.
MAN
Yeah, why do you think that is!
WOMAN is quiet.
WOMAN
(Changing to a more ‘leveling with him’ demeanor) Look, you’re nice. You’re a good, nice guy. And you probably believed whatever those people out there told you. But they’re wrong. They don’t know the first thing about me. They just think they do because they spend half their lives standing where I tell them to stand!
Silent beat as MAN collects his thoughts
MAN
So what! Clair, I can’t make you do anything, and neither can they. You’re the one with that power, remember? All we can do is ask you to let us in.
WOMAN
And what if I say no?
MAN
Than you say no. You’ve already given me more yeses than I could have hoped for.
WOMAN considers
MAN CON’T
And for the record, I’m not a ‘good, nice guy.’ I’m a street hardened, motherfucker.
WOMAN
Who wants me to open up about my feelings.
MAN
(Gruffly) Damn straight.
WOMAN
(Beat as woman laughs to herself) Jesus Christ, I’m about to keep talking. Do you moonlight for the FBI or something?
MAN
Pays the bills.
WOMAN reaches over and takes MAN’S hand. They hold hands for a few intimate seconds before she leads him to another part of the room where they sit.
WOMAN
People talk about how cancer gives you time, how you get to sort of grieve with the person while they’re still alive. I wish it had been cancer, because I had the time but I wasn’t grieving. Hearts are like cars to surgeons now, replace the carburetor—new aorta, no problem. And with what he had there was always something else they could do, something they were sure would save him. And the hope, that evil fucking hope, was always there. And with that in my hand, I let everything else go to hell.
MAN
How?
WOMAN
Work was nothing, I tripled my pill intake, all but disowned my family. But I had my hope, and I had him. Every time we’d drive to the hospital we’d play that Janis Joplin song “Take Another Little Piece of My Heart,” and just sing and laugh until one day we weren’t laughing anymore.
MAN
What about a transplant?
WOMAN
Couldn’t. They’d done too much. The whole neighborhood was essentially hamburger meat by then.
MAN
I’m so sorry.
WOMAN
Is that enough?
MAN
Oh, Clair.
WOMAN
Because I could go on.
MAN
That’s enough. More than enough. Thank you, you didn’t have to.
WOMAN
I know. It’s kind of amazing, a year ago I never could have talked like this. I guess that’s a moot point because a year ago I would have been long past black out by now.
MAN
Bar’s still open, baby.
WOMAN
Enticing.
MAN
It should be getting pretty fun out there. (Puts on gossipy voice) I totally saw Angela reject that guy she took home at the funeral.
WOMAN
Oh Toby? He’ll be back for more. (Short beat) Wait, how do you know that?
MAN
Know what?
WOMAN
That Angela took Toby home from the funeral.
MAN
(Immediately uneasy) I don’t know, why shouldn’t I?
WOMAN
Because you weren’t there.
BEAT as woman realizes what is going on
WOMAN CON’T
Because you aren’t there….Oh my god. (Stands up abruptly)
MAN
What’s going on here?
WOMAN
(Begins to pace the room) No. I’m on meds. I haven’t seen someone in years.
MAN
This is the booze or the pills talking.
WOMAN
No, it’s the pills not talking. I’m schizophrenic, not a drug addict.
MAN
Clair, I’m right here. I’m real.
WOMAN
Oh yeah, what’s your name?
MAN
What are you talking about, it’s… (Long horrified beat as he tries and fails to remember)
WOMAN
I don’t know it either.
WOMAN shifts from sympathetic horror to personal determination. She stand center stage, eyes closed, fists clenched.
WOMAN CON’T
I am in control. I am in touch with reality…
MAN
(Scampering frantically around WOMAN) What are you doing? Are you making me disappear? Don’t make me disappear.
WOMAN
I am in control.
MAN
(Making physical contact with WOMAN) Stop it!
WOMAN
Don’t touch me.
MAN
Don’t do this! I don’t want to die.
WOMAN
I understand what has happened…
MAN
Stop! (Man considers the limits of his options and retreats to a corner, possibly hugging his knees, he watches WOMAN terrified)
WOMAN
I am in control. I accept what I have made. (Short, closed eye beat) I release it. (WOMAN opens her eyes, facing the audience. She notices the room has fallen silent and is pleased. She looks around the room, checking off the places where she does not see MAN until she eventually finds him, still huddled in the corner staring at her in horror) Motherfuck!
MAN
Am I dead?
WOMAN picks up one of the half full glasses of champagne, walks deliberately to MAN and pours it on him.
MAN
(Screams)
WOMAN
(Yelling at him like a dog) MELT!
MAN
(Screams)
WOMAN stands over him still holding the glass in the pouring position.
Eventually both of them realize that nothing is happening.
MAN CON’T
Can I get a towel?
WOMAN slams the glass down on a table.
WOMAN
This is bullshit.
MAN
What does this mean?
WOMAN
It means you’re stickin’ around, asshole.
MAN
I’m not an asshole.
WOMAN
Oh yeah, prove it. Get the fuck out (points to the door).
MAN
(Looks at the door and shakes his head) Nuh-uh.
WOMAN
Yeah, that’s what I thought. You figments are all the same.
MAN
That’s not true. What other figment slaps your ass while you’re blowing it?
WOMAN thinks for a second.
MAN CON’T
Come on!
WOMAN
It doesn’t matter anyway; that BJ never happened.
MAN
That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.
WOMAN walks to the pillows, picks up a blanket, and throws it to MAN
MAN CON’T
Thanks. (Wipes himself with blanket) Hey, so how long have we actually been together? Did the last two months…
WOMAN
Month and a half.
MAN
Whatever. Did it not happen? Did you just dream all that up right now?
WOMAN
I don’t know. I could have. I’ve had hallucinations like that, like dreams with their own history written in. I’ve also had some that last for years in real time. You can’t know unless you’re living with someone.
MAN
Why?
WOMAN
Because you talk. They hear the stories, they know who keeps showing up and who doesn’t.
MAN
So even though I think we’ve been dating for two…(WOMAN shoots him a look) a month and a half, this still could be a one-night stand?
WOMAN
That’s one way to put it.
MAN
And I’ll never know for sure.
WOMAN
Neither will I.
MAN
Ouch.
WOMAN
(Sits near MAN resignedly) Fuck.
MAN
So, what do we do now?
WOMAN
We? It’s just me and me. I made you, you’re my figment.
MAN
That’s not true.
WOMAN
It’s true.
MAN
No. You make your kids but they’re their own people. They can surprise you. So can I.
WOMAN
How?
MAN
What have I been doing all night? We talked about hard shit. Went places you didn’t want to go.
WOMAN
You-are-a-figment!
MAN
I’m the best goddamn figment you ever had.
WOMAN
So this is some kind of fucked up self-help thing.
MAN
Whatever, it’s working.
WOMAN
Yeah, the ultimate definition of “to thine own self be true.”
MAN
Clair, fuckin’ Polonius said that.
WOMAN
Whatever, it’s obviously what’s going on.
MAN
Sure, and if you wanna take life lessons from a pot-bellied schlub, who gets stabbed behind a curtain, be my guest. But your “own self” is a hell of a lot bigger than the rest of ours.
WOMAN
How would you know? You’re just another part of me anyway.
MAN
(Looks at WOMAN earnestly)
I know because you do.
WOMAN
(Looks back at MAN, then up at the ceiling with an expression a la ‘anything else?’ Then claps MAN on the back)
Get up.
MAN
What?
WOMAN
Get up.
MAN
Okay.
WOMAN rises
MAN CON’T
What are we doing?
WOMAN helps MAN to his feet.
WOMAN
We’re developing you.
WOMAN places MAN center stage, as though she’s about to fit him for a suit
MAN
You mean, like a character?
WOMAN
Exactly. Nobody gets to tromp around my delusions without a believable back-story.
MAN considers this.
WOMAN at last, has MAN placed where she wants him.
WOMAN
Alright. Who are you?
MAN
I…don’t know.
WOMAN
Let’s start with your name.
MAN
How about…Joe.
WOMAN
No, too plain.
MAN
I don’t know I kind-a like it.
WOMAN
What about Brett…or Lysander!?
MAN
Nah, Joe’s good. You can call me José if you want.
WOMAN
Alright fine. Let’s move on. So, Joe, how old are you? Where are you from?
MAN
Ummm, I was born in Chicago, Nineteen-and-Forty-One.
WOMAN
Isn’t that a blues song?
MAN
(Singing like a blues man) I was born in Chicago, Nineteen-and-Forty-One.
WOMAN
That would make you 73.
MAN
I look great.
WOMAN
Come on, give me something.
MAN
Okay, lets see. (Looks at his arm) So, I’m white.
WOMAN
Yes you are.
MAN
Am I Jewish?
WOMAN
(Looks him over) I don’t think so.
MAN
You want I should convert?
WOMAN
(Considers) You don’t have to.
MAN
Alright, so. I come from a long line of…
WOMAN
Evangelists!
MAN
I was going to say coal miners, but okay. Evangelists.
WOMAN
Huge tent meetings, everybody convulsing on the floor speaking in tongues.
MAN
Yes! But my parents escaped. They fled to the big city, and that’s where I was born.
WOMAN
And where was that?
MAN
(Speaks with his hand outstretched as though viewing the word in lights) Los Angeles.
WOMAN
Wait, what?
MAN
(Nonchalantly) You know, where dreams are made.
WOMAN
So you’re Joe…from LA.
MAN
If I had a hat I’d turn it backwards.
WOMAN
I used to be more creative.
MAN
Fiction hurts, babe.
WOMAN
How long have we known each other?
MAN
Years.
WOMAN
So it’s ‘years’ now.
MAN
Absolutely, years and years. And always, I wanted you.
WOMAN
Now that’s better. (changing tone) But you couldn’t have me.
MAN
(Earnestly) No, I couldn’t.
WOMAN
(Playing along) Why ever not, Joe?
MAN
Because we met through Frank.
WOMAN
(Takes this in with real surprise) What?
MAN
We’re still making up my past, right?
WOMAN
Yes.
MAN
So, that’s how I met you—Frank. And I wanted you—from the second he introduced us.
WOMAN
When was that?
MAN
You weren’t married yet, but soon enough you were. And then you were everywhere. Hidden in all the women I wasted my time with…
WOMAN
Ah, but you just wanted what you couldn’t have. I could have been cockroach, but as long as I was a married cockroach I was all you could think about.
MAN
God, I wish. I tried to let you go. But there was nothing I could do. It was you, always you. And I was going to have you. And then a miracle—Frank got sick.
WOMAN
Stop it.
MAN
And all I had to do was wait.
WOMAN
What are you saying? (Shocked at the fruition of this gradual change in MAN’S demeanor.)
MAN
I gave him a year, but the sorry fuck only took 6 months.
WOMAN slaps MAN.
MAN takes it and smiles.
MAN CON’T
Thank you. And you came to me, just like that.
WOMAN
You’re lying.
MAN
No, I’m not. You just weren’t looking. It’s amazing how much people want to fuck the shoulder they cry on, it must be biological.
WOMAN
Get out.
MAN
Excuse me?
WOMAN
Get out of my head, get out of my life, go! (Makes a sort of poof with her hands by flicking her finger).
MAN
(Squints his eyes shut tight as though willing something to happen, then opens them slowly and looks at woman, smiling) Still here. You put me here, baby. And I’m gonna speak my mind.
WOMAN draws back in controlled fear
MAN CON’T
Oh God, Clair. You were the most wonderful accomplice, every step of the way.
WOMAN
You’re sick.
MAN
Funny you should say that, when you’re the one who killed him for me.
WOMAN is shocked into silence.
Over the course of MAN’S following line WOMAN will assume a very inward position – standing, looking at the ground, holding her elbows as though cold.
MAN
You say you haven’t ‘seen someone’ in years and maybe that’s true, but it doesn’t mean you weren’t crazy. Doesn’t mean you weren’t talking about things that never happened, seeing things you couldn’t explain…and getting scared. You got so scared, Clair. (MAN approaches WOMAN circling her ominously, touching her hair) And who did you bring it home to? Who held your hand? Frank of course, the man you loved.
WOMAN
(Still looking down) Please.
MAN
You hide so much under your wit, pass for sane any day of the week, but not with him. The one place you didn’t have to lock up the horrors, the nightmare in your life, the thing that would terrify (beat) the faint of heart.
WOMAN
Stop.
MAN
But I’m strong, Clair. So much stronger than he was. I can take you.
WOMAN
(On the verge of giving in physically to MAN’S advances, whispering) Don’t.
MAN
Give it to me, give it all to me. There’s nothing in your head I can’t fuck away.
MAN takes woman by the waist—if he does not already have it—and kisses her in a dominating dancing dip.
WOMAN
(Puts hand on MAN’S face and looks him in they eyes, whispering) I’ve always liked fucking myself.
MAN
What?
WOMAN
It’s just me here. That’s what I’d be doing.
MAN
Give in, Clair.
WOMAN
I have. We’re both speaking my mind tonight, aren’t we? So let me continue.
MAN’S arm is still tightly around WOMAN, and she indicates him on the words ‘always believe’ in the following line by grabbing his shirt.
WOMAN CON’T
I might always believe that I killed him. That I am crazy and I should have gotten out if I wanted to save him. But you know what’s worse? If I didn’t. (WOMAN continues palpable physical intimacy with MAN as though the two are steamy lovers) The guilt is easy, so easy, because it’s mine: on my hands, my fault. Control. But if he chose: to stay with me, to spend the last months of his life with me, not just his death—then I have nothing. And I have to learn to live with nothing.
MAN and WOMAN kiss with mutual intimacy.
MAN breaks away.
MAN
Happy New Year, Clair.
Exit MAN.
WOMAN is left alone.
Lights out
END OF PLAY
Art and Music in Our Souls 