A SIMPLE PLAN.

By Ivan Lopez.

LACEY and JUNE, two roommates in their mid-twenties, sit on the couch and watch TV.

JUNE

Hey, Lacey, what day is it?

LACEY

Tuesday.

JUNE

Tuesday?  I thought yesterday was Tuesday.

LACEY

Yesterday was Monday.

JUNE

Really?

LACEY

Yippers.

JUNE stares out into space.  Beat.

JUNE

Are we still in August?

LACEY

Yes.  Wait.  No.  September.

JUNE

September?

LACEY checks her phone.

LACEY

September 7th.

JUNE

Where did August go?

LACEY

That’s a good question.

They both stare out into space.

JUNE

Are you happy?

LACEY

Like right this second or in general?

JUNE

Both I guess.

LACEY

No, I’m not.

(beat)

Oh, God, not at all.

JUNE

Me neither.

LACEY

How did this happen?

JUNE

It’s this fucking city.  You get here with all this optimism and big dreams and it just takes one glance at you, punches you in the neck and leaves you lying in the gutter.

LACEY

Some people get back up.

JUNE

Yeah, fuck those people.  They make it look so easy.

LACEY

Somethings gotta give.  There’s gotta be a way to change.

JUNE

Wishful thinking.

LACEY

Maybe, but still.  You remember all that passion we had?

JUNE

Vaguely.  It feels like that was someone else.  And that person’s dead – replaced by the zombie you see before you.

LACEY

Well, lets kill the zombie then.

JUNE

You can’t.  Once you’re a zombie you’re done.  Then your life becomes walking slow, hunting for brains and destroying other people’s lives.  Its irreversible.

LACEY sticks her hand between the sofa cushions and pulls out a Chinese takeout menu and a pen.

LACEY

We’re gonna come up with a plan.

JUNE

A plan?

LACEY

A plan to wake us up from this fog and jump start us.

JUNE

A stimulus plan?

LACEY

I like that.  Yeah, a stimulus plan.

JUNE

I was being sarcastic.  Thats not gonna work.

LACEY

Why not?

JUNE

Seriously?  You think we can change our lives by writing down some plan on the back of a Golden Chopsticks menu?

LACEY

It’s worth a shot.  You got something better to do?

JUNE

Okay, fine.  I’ll humor you.  Step One is we need to do some fucking laundry.  Our clothes smell like grilled cheese sandwiches and weed.

LACEY

(writing it down)

Laundry.  Got it.  We should also start dating again.  We need boyfriends.

JUNE

I gotta lose ten pounds first.

LACEY

Are you kidding me?  You’re a twig!  I’m the fat ass.

JUNE

Oh shut up.  You still fit into your jeans.  I’m the one that has to wear sweatpants.

LACEY

By choice.  You’ve got a killer body.

JUNE

Whatever, I need to lose some weight before I can get a boyfriend.

LACEY

I don’t think thats true, but okay, I’ll put down exercise.  Maybe we can start going to yoga again.

JUNE

We have no money.

LACEY

Yoga to the People is pay what you can.

JUNE

Thats all the way in the Village.  I don’t wanna take the train to yoga.  If we had more money, we could go to the yoga studio in the corner.  Put that down…make more money.

LACEY

Thats not exactly a plan.  We can’t just make more money by writing it down.

JUNE

We can’t make any of this stuff happen just by writing it down.  This is stupid.

LACEY

Okay, I’ll write it down.  I want to learn Russian.

JUNE

Russian?  What are you gonna do with Russian?

LACEY

I don’t know.  Maybe I’ll go to Moscow for a month.

JUNE

Oh, are we dreaming now?  Why don’t you write down I wanna go to the Moon.

LACEY does.

JUNE

Oh come on, you’re writing that down?

LACEY

Why not?

JUNE

Cause thats impossible.

LACEY

Its fun though.  Isn’t it?

JUNE

No.

LACEY

Come on, you’re laughing.  I haven’t seen you laugh in months.  When did we stop being silly?  Back in college we used to play this game all the time.  Who cares if somethings impossible?  Dreaming is still free.  Dream away I say.  It beats sitting around watching 90210 reruns.

JUNE

Okay.  I wanna run with the bulls in Pamplona.

LACEY

I wanna learn to play the guitar.

JUNE

I wanna kiss a random guy on the subway and then never see him again.

LACEY

I wanna go for a walk in the rain!

JUNE

I wanna go camping somewhere where I can see the stars!

The excitement gets the girls going.  They begin yelling out things they’ve always wanted to do.  The excitement turns to just downright giddy till it just comes to its natural end.

LACEY

I never knew you wanted to _______________.

JUNE

Since I was a little girl!

The girls laugh and are lost in their own thoughts for a second.

JUNE

Hey, what time is it?

LACEY

6:30.

JUNE

If we leave now we can still make it down to the Brooklyn Bridge for sunset.

LACEY

Perfect!

JUNE

Should I change?

LACEY

You look great like that.

JUNE

You got your keys?

LACEY

Got em.

JUNE

Let’s go.

They exit.

FIN.