A dark stage. The PREACHER slowlyambles out. He makes his way tohis preaching place. And beginshis poem/song.
The ribs and terrors in the whale,
Arched over me a dismal gloom,
While all God’s sun-lit waves rolled by,
And lift me deepening down to doom.
I saw the opening maw of hell,
With endless pains and sorrows there;
Which none but they that feel can tell—
Oh, I was plunging to despair.
In black distress, I called my God,
When I could scarce believe him mine,
He bowed his ear to my complaints—
No more the whale did me confine.
With speed he flew to my relief,
As on a radiant dolphin borne;
Awful, yet bright, as lightning shone
The face of my Deliverer God.
My song for ever shall record
That terrible, that joyful hour;
I give the glory to my God,
His all the mercy and the power.
A radiant Dolphin?
JUSTIN YORIO speaks out from the
1st row of the audience, where hes
its drinking a beer.
The fuck is that?
The PREACHER soldiers on,unaffected.
The tale is a lesson to us all, Shipmates. As sinful men, itis a lesson to us all, because it is a story of Jonah’s sin,hard-heartedness, suddenly awakened fears, the swiftpunishment, repentance, prayers, and finally his–
Music plays. The WHOREMOTHER enters.She waddles out, her legs pressed tightly together.
I am the Whoremother.
Oh Jesus Christ.
I am both whore and mother. We all are the whoremother. Mywomb, like all wombs, is simultaneously a place of escape andreturn. All burst from it, and then seek to return. All mybabies are criminals. Prisoners released who, knowing noother way of life, offend again to get back inside the jail’swarm wet walls. I am the whoremother jailhouse.
As with all sinners among men, the sin of Jonah was in his
wilful disobedience of the command of God–never mind now
what that command was, or how conveyed–which he found a hard
command. But all the things that God would have us do are
hard for us to do–remember that–and hence, he oftener
commands us than endeavors to persuade. And if we obey God,we must disobey ourselves; and it is in this disobeying ourselves, wherein the hardness of obeying God consists.
God is hard? If I were looking at that whoremother all day,I’d be hard too.
I command a work camp of my children. Infants all.given them life and now they do my bidding.
WHOREMOTHER(quickly to YORIO)
Just stop it.
(back the the script)You, Child, break those rocks! You, Baby. You there. You
dig that trench. Hammer the board. Drill the hole. Break,Child. Dig, Infant babe. Hammer. Hammer. Drill, Baby, Drill.
There is no water left. There is only beer. The whale has
swallowed all water, and our ship is left to float in sin.In sinful beer.
Cheers, Preacher man.
(to YORIO) Just try to enjoy to the performance.
When the only choice is sin, where do you turn?
The PREACHER opens a beer and starts to drink.
This show just got awesome.
The WHOREMOTHER starts to moan.Birth pangs.
Oh my god.
This is fucked.
(breaking, to YORIO)You’re embarassing me!
You’re embarrassing yourself.
She goes back to moaning. Shecollapses. And starts to givebirth….to a Shake Weight.
My newest child. I love you most of all. You. You shake.You weigh. You are consumerism. You are the desire to bebetter. To shake your way to improvement. You will not worklike the others, you will shake. Shake, Baby, Shake.
Does anyone else think this is bullshit?
I worked really hard on this and you’re ruining it.
Ok, stop it for me.
Babe, it can’t be ruined. It’s already a disaster.
It’s my art!
Your art doesn’t make any fucking sense.
It doesn’t have to make sense. It’s art!!! It’s here to provoke and inspire.
You fucking gave birth to a Shake Weight.In front of all these people. A shake weight isn’t art.
A shake weight isn’t symbolism. It’s a shake weight. That’s all it will ever be. So don’t put it in your art. It’s a thing that made funny homoerotic informercials and that’s it.To include it in any other context is a bad bad idea.
Tony gets it.
(To PREACHER)Do you know what you’re doing?
PREACHER looks to each, then admits:
I thought I was gonna get my Equity card.
I have no fucking idea.
Let’s go home babe.
I’m still an artist.
I know you are.
So am I not getting my card?
YORIO & WHOREMOTHER leave.
Can I at least have the rest of the beer?